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本片主角万笑笑

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原先是个戏曲丑角演员

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这几年改行专演喜剧小品

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拍电视剧

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不料他越演越红

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成了明星

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他四处走穴

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八方捞钱

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先富起来了

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已经买下了一辆小轿车

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肥猪粉

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都怪我嘴馋

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偷吃肥猪粉！哎

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哎呀

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怎么样

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于导啊

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怎么样

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太棒了

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太棒了！哎

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进来

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进来！哎

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老板

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给钱！好

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香港黑社会勾结大陆一伙不法分子

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为了谋取暴利

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将两块伪造百元人民币的铸版偷运入境

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不料风声走露

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惹得另一伙不法之徒眼红心热

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蠢蠢欲动

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在这场罪恶的争夺之中

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大名鼎鼎的万笑笑又阴差阳错的卷进来了

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于是就演出了一场《小丑历险记》

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朱老板

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货已经到了

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我马上派人去取

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按商店的办法交货

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朱老板

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您叫我

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什么事儿

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过来

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好，下面我们欢

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迎大明星万笑笑

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上场

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注意

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提腰

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别走神儿

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哎，好

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朱老板指示

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炸药的爆破力一定要准确

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千荣

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我们试验开始吧

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开始

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嗯

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不错

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要是箱子失手

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别人硬把箱子撬开

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里面的柱板就会炸得粉碎

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对对

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他们也就得不到证据了

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是啊

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笑笑

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我知道你明天要到高宝市去演出

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带上我去好不好

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不行啊

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人家不缺报幕的

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再说你又不会演节目

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那我当你的贴身秘书

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伺候您

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嗯

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好不好

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好不好嘛

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不行

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我就是让你这个姑娘搞的《团城传》的

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我老婆就两次亮黄牌警告了

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要不我到你家去

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当面向你的夫人解释清楚

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不行

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你不能去

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千万别去

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笑笑

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我老婆出去了

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可大了

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笑笑

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你就这么无情啊

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呃，以后再说吧

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啊，我给你打电话

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嗯

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哈哈哈哈哈！笑笑怎么样啊

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哎，哎

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万大明星

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有件事

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好想和您商量一下

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啊，这会计去医院看病了

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呃，您的报酬数目大

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明天给您行不行啊

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晚给一天

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加不加利息啊

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利息

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哎呀

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我算是领教你们这些大明星了

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利息就算了

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顺便说一下

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上税的事情

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呃，我就不用麻烦你们了

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我自己来处理吧

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哎，这税务局有规定

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我们怎么能……哎

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不必担心了

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让他们找我好了

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对了

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明天一早我要乘船去演出

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这一万块钱

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装在箱子里面

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啊，到码头送给我

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哎，几点钟啊

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早上七点

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码头等你啊

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钱总

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炸药装好了

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请你检查一下

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嗯，这箱子里的炸药比我们实验用的威力还要大

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但愿这个爆破装置用不上才好

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钱总

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我大胆的问一下

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为什么不直接把铸板送到朱老板那儿去呢

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送过一次

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失手了

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高堡市口岸很严

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这回啊

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朱老板采用的是迂回战术

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哦

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小妞

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嗯

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钱总找我

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嗯

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钱总

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大胡子来了

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让他进来

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是

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钱总让你进去

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小牛

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你长得越来越迷人了嘛

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哎，让钱总看见了会炒你鱿鱼的

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快进去吧

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大胡子

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交给你件活

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要干得漂亮

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不能出差错

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什么活

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明天早上七点到码头

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把这只密码箱交给朱老板派来的人

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那个人是谁

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我也不知道

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那个人站在一辆紫红色的轿车前等你

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你上去跟他对个火

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然后请他抽支牡丹烟

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他会说：“我只抽外烟

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”你就说：“你会唱样板戏吗

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”他就说：“好久不唱了

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”你就说：“天王盖地虎

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宝塔镇河妖

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对对

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你就接着唱

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临行

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喝妈一碗酒

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他就接着唱

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鸠山设宴和我交朋友

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错了

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那应该是浑身是胆

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混蛋

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这是暗号

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懂吗

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他要是接着唱浑身是胆的话

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那就不是朱老板派来的人了

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明白吗

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明白

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哎呦

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这不是笑笑吗

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哎，你好

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哎呀

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你好

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你你好

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哎呀

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好像有半个多月没见到你了

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我正在忙

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哎，你最近都在忙什么呢

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我在忙演出

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哦，好

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好，好

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再见

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姐啊

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嗯

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叶绿

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快开门！开门！叶绿

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我一天演了三场

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到现在连中饭都没吃呢

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你一走就是半个多月

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肚子饿了才想起这个家

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切，嗯

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嗯

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这又不是饭店

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说来就来

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说走就走

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哎呦哎呦哎呦！啊啊啊！疼不疼

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啊啊！哈哈哈哈哈哈！啊哈哈哈哈！哎呀

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你看你那脸！嗯

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好了好了

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快快进去洗洗

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嗯嗯

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啊！当心！啊！沙发上有老鼠夹子

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呃呃

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我出去半个月

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怎么一下出来那么多老鼠

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哎，明天是全市灭鼠日

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统一行动

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不管有没有老鼠

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都得提高警惕

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我看我们家没老鼠

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呵呵

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那不一定

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这不还溜进只大老鼠呢

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叶绿

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我送你些礼物：马海毛的毛衣、化妆品

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还有时装长裙

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喜欢吗

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嗯

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嗯

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笑笑

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我需要的不光是这些东西

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我知道

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我到处走穴

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冷落了你

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可我赚钱

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也是为了我们的小日子

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哦，对了

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税务局啊

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通知你去上税呢

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啊，这是税务局的通知单

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上税上税

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烦死人了

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你还是去一趟吧

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要不将来算局总账来

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恐怕你哭都哭不出来啊

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嗯

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哦，你妈寄来的信

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我看了

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信上说你两年都没回家

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她挺想你的

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我实在抽不出时间

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嗯，你寄给你师傅的东西给退回来了

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邮局说收件人不肯收这邮包

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师傅还在生我的气

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好了

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现在我给你开饭

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吃完了饭你就给我离开这儿

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我要是现在郑重宣布

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今晚上我不走了呢

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嗯

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我想我的武功你是知道的

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哎呀

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你干嘛那么恨我呢

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你不是有许多女性崇拜者吗

263
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,200
嗯，随便你是找哪个都不管我的事儿

264
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:31,680
叶绿

265
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,120
自从你警告我以后

266
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,320
这毛病我已经改正了

267
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:35,320
真的改正了

268
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,120
我才不信呢

269
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:37,880
你不信

270
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:39,440
我可以对天发誓

271
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,040
弥陀佛在上

272
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,440
弟子万笑笑从今以后绝对忠诚我的妻子叶绿

273
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,160
阿弥陀佛

274
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:50,760
好了好了

275
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:51,840
不要再指天发誓了

276
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:52,880
我相信你就是了

277
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:57,040
啊

278
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:02,480
万老师

279
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:03,520
来了

280
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:03,920
你就跟他

281
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:04,720
我不在家

282
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:06,800
心里没鬼

283
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:07,720
不怕鬼敲门

284
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,360
万老师

285
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,440
来了来了

286
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:15,880
啊，你是万师母吧

287
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:17,320
师母不敢当

288
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:18,200
我叫叶绿

289
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,000
我找万老师有点事儿

290
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:24,440
请进吧

291
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,120
笑笑

292
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:29,040
来了

293
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:29,600
请坐吧

294
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:30,720
笑笑啊

295
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,000
咱们俩的事儿

296
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:33,280
你是躲不过的

297
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:34,720
你到底要我不要我

298
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,000
你说话清楚点

299
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,280
别含含糊糊的

300
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:38,600
笑笑

301
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:40,520
说话呀

302
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:41,440
啊，好吧

303
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:42,400
我要你就是

304
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:42,960
走吧啊

305
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:43,920
走走走走走

306
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:44,880
哎呀

307
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:45,280
这走吧

308
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:46,680
说话算数

309
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,080
你敢相信我

310
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:48,680
我可以发誓

311
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:49,520
别发誓了

312
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:50,720
都给我出去！哎

313
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:50,880
叶绿

314
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:51,880
你别误会

315
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,480
我万师母

316
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,720
这是万老师调的照片

317
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,040
哎哎哎！我才认识你

318
00:11:59,120 --> 00:11:59,360
走吧

319
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:00,480
走走走

320
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,400
笑笑

321
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,600
啊，好啊

322
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,360
，拜拜

323
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,960
好你个万笑笑

324
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,320
他竟敢当着我的面吻你

325
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:12,640
叶绿

326
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:13,960
你别误会

327
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,200
人证物证俱在

328
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,680
你的誓言一钱不值

329
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:18,280
这是什么

330
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:19,440
这个

331
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,560
这些女人到底是谁

332
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:21,520
你说

333
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:22,720
你听我解释

334
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,320
这照片上的女的

335
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,160
有的想拜我为师

336
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:26,480
有的想当演员

337
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,200
对，还有刚才那个死乞白赖跟着你的人

338
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:30,000
那是个混蛋

339
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:30,560
是个无赖

340
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:31,480
你得相信我

341
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,240
哎，你想毁掉罪证

342
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:35,440
没那么容易

343
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,120
哎哎！叶绿

344
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:38,560
哎呦！哎

345
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:38,880
叶绿

346
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:39,480
给我吧

347
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:40,080
哎哎哎

348
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:41,480
给我吧

349
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:46,800
哎呦！哎呦哎呦哎呦哎呦哎呦

350
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,240
疼死我了！哎呦！我发过誓

351
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:51,480
这是对你的惩罚

352
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:52,160
谢谢

353
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:52,960
哎，给我吧

354
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:53,360
给我

355
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:59,040
去！哦哦哦哦哦哦

356
00:12:59,040 --> 00:12:59,600
哎呀呀呀！叶绿

357
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:03,680
哎呀！哎呀！哦哦哦！啊啊啊！哦

358
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:04,560
哦，哦

359
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:08,480
哎呀！我想现在再让你谈谈那个女放牧员的事儿

360
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,560
你会更清醒点儿

361
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:11,520
好的

362
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:16,200
我说那个女的想跟我出去走穴

363
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:17,560
我没同意

364
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:19,280
她就想报复我

365
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:21,160
她知道你爱吃醋

366
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:21,920
你说什么

367
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:22,080
哎呀

368
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:22,640
不不不是

369
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,480
我跟她没什么事儿

370
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:25,920
你敢相信我啊

371
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:26,800
你敢

372
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:27,640
我不相信

373
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:28,640
哎，你不信

374
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:29,480
我可以发誓

375
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:30,960
弥陀佛在上

376
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:32,480
你不要再来这套

377
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:33,200
轻点

378
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,160
我才不要听呢

379
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:34,920
好吧

380
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:36,680
老板娘

381
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,440
嗯，明天早上七点

382
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:39,800
他们在码头交货

383
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:41,480
嗯

384
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,120
是大胡子去接头

385
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:45,000
哦

386
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:45,880
嗯

387
00:13:59,040 --> 00:13:59,360
叫我

388
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:00,360
去

389
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,360
笑笑

390
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,760
快来啊！这儿有只老鼠

391
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:17,320
哪儿啊

392
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:20,480
在在那儿

393
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:22,720
呃，哎

394
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:23,520
哪儿啊

395
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:24,040
没有啊

396
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,680
啊啊！被你给赶走了

397
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,280
嗨，你那么好的个武功

398
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,320
还怕这老鼠

399
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,080
这大象还怕老鼠呢

400
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:35,200
你睡吧

401
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:36,480
我来站岗啊

402
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,440
嗯，哎

403
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:45,400
答应我

404
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,120
以后别再走穴了

405
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:48,440
好吧

406
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:49,840
我答应你

407
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:07,280
叶绿

408
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,280
我和高宝石订了合同

409
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:10,720
不得不去演出

410
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,280
此行路经东线

411
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:13,440
我要去看望师傅

412
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:22,440
他们要接头了

413
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:34,560
喏，就是那个大胡子

414
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,000
来，你们看看

415
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,080
箱子里装着两块特制的硬币板

416
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,200
印出来的一百块钱呢

417
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,000
和真的一样

418
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:43,600
如果搞到硬币板

419
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:52,160
我们就发大财了

420
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:53,680
六个火

421
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:54,480
好

422
00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:58,560
抽牡丹烟

423
00:15:58,960 --> 00:15:59,920
不，我只抽外烟

424
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,440
哎，师傅

425
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:10,560
让让让让！你会唱样板戏吗

426
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:11,840
好久不唱了

427
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:15,320
天王盖地虎

428
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,160
宝塔镇河妖

429
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:21,400
嗯，菱形河马一碗酒

430
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:26,600
浑身是胆雄赳赳

431
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:27,520
错了

432
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:27,920
嗯

433
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:28,800
没错

434
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:29,680
错了

435
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:30,840
菱形河马一碗酒

436
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,000
浑身是胆雄赳赳吗

437
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:32,840
错了

438
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:33,680
怎么会错呢

439
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:37,080
菱形河马一碗酒

440
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,760
就问谁和我交朋友

441
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,160
和我交朋友

442
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:44,640
抽牡丹烟

443
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:45,520
呃，不

444
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:46,680
我只抽万烟

445
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:47,680
这个十块钱

446
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:48,000
来来来

447
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:49,040
十块钱

448
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:49,200
好了

449
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:51,840
哎，我的钱都没了

450
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:52,320
哎，万大爷

451
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,720
行，这车太挤

452
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:55,200
我来晚了

453
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,080
钱带来了

454
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:57,120
一万元

455
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:57,920
满足您的要求

456
00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:58,800
你要不要抽抽

457
00:16:58,800 --> 00:16:59,120
我有

458
00:16:59,120 --> 00:16:59,280
快跑

459
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:08,080
快跑！让他跑了！抓着他！我的眼镜了！我的眼镜哪去了

460
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,400
你眼镜在这儿呢

461
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:10,560
拿上

462
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:11,680
谢谢

463
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:12,960
那好

464
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:13,920
交给我吧

465
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:15,080
这箱子没摔碎

466
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:16,600
一万块钱都在里头

467
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,080
你要不要数一数啊

468
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,040
少了我会找你的

469
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:19,400
哎，好

470
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:20,160
坐了车走吧

471
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:20,480
哎，好

472
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:21,280
哥们儿

473
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,560
下回办事儿可得多个心眼儿啊！啊

474
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:25,920
那是

475
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,200
要不是你及时赶来

476
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:29,760
他妈差点出错

477
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:30,000
行了

478
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:30,400
回家吧

479
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:31,360
啊，走

480
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:34,400
老板娘

481
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,000
那两个都拿箱子

482
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,120
我们到底跟哪个呀

483
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,360
跟上船的那个

484
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,040
啊，那边那个

485
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,600
他们想调虎离山

486
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:44,800
可逃不过我的眼睛

487
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:45,120
哎

488
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:06,520
不许笑！动！吓我一跳！这是玩具手枪

489
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:07,440
小朋友

490
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,120
这玩具手枪也不能对人呢

491
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:10,480
是不是

492
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:12,320
叔叔

493
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:13,600
你在偷东西吗

494
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:14,480
小朋友

495
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:15,760
不许瞎说

496
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,480
那是我自己的箱子啊

497
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:18,800
来，给

498
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:22,560
你妈妈呢

499
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,160
来，笑笑

500
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:24,000
擦把脸

501
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:24,800
啊，谢谢

502
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:26,160
我不要擦脸

503
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,000
啊，我是叫我儿子擦脸

504
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:30,640
他也叫笑笑

505
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:31,840
哈哈

506
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:32,600
没错

507
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:34,720
因为我太崇拜你了

508
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:37,160
所以给孩子改名叫笑笑

509
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:37,920
哦，哎

510
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,800
你们快来看呐！大明星万笑笑

511
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,040
万笑笑

512
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:43,560
你们好

513
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,440
呃，万笑笑先生啊

514
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,680
您每次演出都上税吗

515
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,480
呃，你是干什么的

516
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:51,400
你看呢

517
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,160
呃，看不出来

518
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:54,960
我出去吹吹风去

519
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:55,880
好

520
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,000
你是税务局的

521
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,440
呃，报上说有些大明星经常逃税

522
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:06,480
我想看看是不是真的

523
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:12,080
你可把他吓坏了

524
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:13,520
对不起

525
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:19,880
哎呀

526
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,160
这不是大明星万笑笑

527
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:21,920
是

528
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,280
哎，太好了

529
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:24,800
太好了！哎呀

530
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:25,600
哎，万笑笑同志

531
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,040
我可是你的崇拜者

532
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:27,840
请你给我签个名

533
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:28,080
好吧

534
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:28,640
签哪儿啊

535
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:29,440
哎，签肚皮上

536
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,480
哎，这不要紧

537
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:30,800
不要紧

538
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:31,200
来来来

539
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:34,960
哎哎

540
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:35,520
嗯，别动

541
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,360
哎，好

542
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:39,120
行了

543
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,320
哎，万笑笑同志

544
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:41,800
你有点晕船吧

545
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:42,720
有点

546
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:43,840
我那儿有晕海宁

547
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,000
吃一片马上就好

548
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:45,600
啊，走吧走吧

549
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,120
不麻烦了吧

550
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:46,880
哎，你看你看

551
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,640
哎，出门靠朋友

552
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:49,960
咱们在一条船上

553
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,400
这叫同舟共济是吧

554
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,160
啊，走吧

555
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,440
走吧走吧走吧

556
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:53,760
还客气

557
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,240
哎，难得

558
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:57,760
走走走走

559
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:57,960
好

560
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:00,360
干什么

561
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:01,600
你们想干什么

562
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:03,920
把箱子放下

563
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:04,480
我放你走

564
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:06,080
大白天抢东西

565
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,080
快放我走

566
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:08,800
要不我叫警察了

567
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:11,400
哥们儿

568
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,760
咱们都是给老板卖命的

569
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:14,800
对吧

570
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,720
哎，不过是各食其主

571
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:18,880
痛快点

572
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:19,760
把箱子放下

573
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:21,080
什么老板

574
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,840
这箱子是我自己的

575
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,320
哎哎哎！别别别！我给你们

576
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:27,720
给你们来

577
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:33,200
嗯

578
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,280
哎！哥们儿

579
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,000
你想独吞是吧

580
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:42,440
哎呀！哎呀

581
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:00,200
哎！哎呀

582
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,240
东线码头到了

583
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,400
下船的旅客

584
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,320
请拿好自己的行李

585
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,600
准备下船

586
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:56,960
谁艾我弟

587
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:58,920
来了

588
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:00,960
来了！来了！让一下

589
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:01,160
让一下

590
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:02,240
让一下了！哎哎

591
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:02,560
快快

592
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,720
哎，前面的赶紧走！哎呦

593
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:11,537
走走走！

594
00:22:11,537 --> 00:22:15,874
别别别！

595
00:22:15,874 --> 00:22:17,320
哎

596
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,360
看清楚点！哎

597
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:22,400
箱子

598
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:27,920
箱子拿好！拿好！拿好！拿着面包

599
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:28,800
拿着面包！哎呦

600
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:29,680
哎呦

601
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,013
谢谢！

602
00:22:34,013 --> 00:22:35,705
混蛋！

603
00:22:35,705 --> 00:22:43,322
你坏了朱老板的大事！

604
00:22:43,322 --> 00:22:48,400
朱老板查过了

605
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,960
箱子是万笑笑的

606
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,520
里面只有一万块钱啊！来

607
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:54,960
请坐

608
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:56,240
啊，好

609
00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:58,600
请坐呀

610
00:22:59,120 --> 00:22:59,600
啊，谢谢

611
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,040
文化局找他干什么

612
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,040
我们局要召开个著名演员座谈会

613
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,080
啊，局长派我们来

614
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,240
呃，请万笑笑同志参加

615
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:09,720
对对

616
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,800
他去外地演出去了

617
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:14,040
今天早上刚走

618
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,000
哦，能不能告诉我们他在哪儿演出

619
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:18,520
我们可以跟他联系

620
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:20,360
这个会很重要啊

621
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:21,720
一定要他参加

622
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:24,800
他去高宝师演出去了

623
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:26,280
来，请抽烟

624
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:27,600
啊，谢谢

625
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:29,640
不过中途要在东县下船

626
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:30,680
去看望他师傅

627
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:31,920
哦，哎

628
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:32,320
快走

629
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:33,400
走，哎

630
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,040
看你急的

631
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:36,440
哎，呃

632
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:37,840
那就不打扰了

633
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:40,600
万笑笑先生

634
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,680
欢迎您回到故乡东县

635
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:44,680
啊，你也认识我

636
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:46,080
当然认识了

637
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:47,640
您做的肥猪粉广告

638
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:48,920
电视里天天放

639
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,040
呃，那是随便玩玩

640
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:51,920
不能算是艺术

641
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:52,760
小姐

642
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:53,440
有房间吗

643
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:55,280
万笑笑先生

644
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:56,000
这边请

645
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,200
好，委屈你了

646
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,400
没关系的

647
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:00,120
反正我只住一宿

648
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,760
好，请谢谢

649
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:10,320
见鬼

650
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:11,720
密码没错啊！嗯

651
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:24,680
嗯，请进

652
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:27,320
呃，你是

653
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:28,280
哎呀

654
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:29,440
你是万笑笑先生

655
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:30,480
久仰久仰久仰

656
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:31,680
好，我叫肖希林

657
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:32,880
东县电视台记者

658
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,120
刚才在宾馆采访一个会议

659
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:36,080
听说您来了

660
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,120
特来拜访您呢

661
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:37,800
对不起

662
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:39,720
现在我不接受采访

663
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,920
嗯，知道您很忙

664
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,320
刚才和文化局王局长说好了

665
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,160
晚上八点在汇贤楼雅座给您接风

666
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:49,520
请您一定赏光

667
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:51,040
晚上我倒是有空的

668
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:52,960
啊，那就这么说定了

669
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:54,520
三零四号房间

670
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:56,320
你好

671
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:56,600
小姐

672
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:57,080
你好

673
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,913
麻烦你订张明天去桃源山的汽车

674
00:24:59,923 --> 00:25:00,915
票，您去演出

675
00:25:01,515 --> 00:25:02,955
不，看我师傅去

676
00:25:03,515 --> 00:25:04,315
订明天上午的

677
00:25:04,395 --> 00:25:04,595
对

678
00:25:05,195 --> 00:25:05,875
顺便问一下

679
00:25:06,555 --> 00:25:09,115
你们存放贵重物品的储藏室保险不保险

680
00:25:09,515 --> 00:25:11,675
我们的储藏室是在公安局挂过号的

681
00:25:11,755 --> 00:25:12,395
绝对保险

682
00:25:12,395 --> 00:25:14,955
好，我的箱子存放两天吧

683
00:25:15,275 --> 00:25:15,995
您放心好了

684
00:25:16,075 --> 00:25:16,235
好

685
00:25:18,955 --> 00:25:19,515
给您孩子

686
00:25:25,195 --> 00:25:26,115
这是给谁寄的

687
00:25:26,155 --> 00:25:26,795
万笑笑同志

688
00:25:26,795 --> 00:25:27,275
我妈妈

689
00:25:27,915 --> 00:25:28,915
万家镇离这不远

690
00:25:29,035 --> 00:25:30,035
干嘛不自己送去

691
00:25:30,075 --> 00:25:30,475
我太忙

692
00:25:30,475 --> 00:25:30,995
没时间去

693
00:25:32,075 --> 00:25:32,275
好

694
00:25:34,235 --> 00:25:34,555
李将军

695
00:25:35,035 --> 00:25:35,275
慢点

696
00:25:35,275 --> 00:25:36,435
还是家乡酒好喝呀

697
00:25:36,715 --> 00:25:37,915
我还能喝一瓶海量

698
00:25:38,075 --> 00:25:38,795
真是海量

699
00:25:38,795 --> 00:25:41,555
啊，万先生坐好

700
00:25:41,675 --> 00:25:42,235
谢谢万局长

701
00:25:42,315 --> 00:25:42,715
哎哎

702
00:25:43,035 --> 00:25:43,755
演出的事儿

703
00:25:43,755 --> 00:25:44,715
请您多关照了啊

704
00:25:44,715 --> 00:25:45,315
多关照吧

705
00:25:45,515 --> 00:25:45,835
笑笑

706
00:25:46,075 --> 00:25:46,715
送送万先生

707
00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:47,515
好，送送送送

708
00:25:48,395 --> 00:25:48,555
好好

709
00:25:48,795 --> 00:25:49,915
再见

710
00:25:49,915 --> 00:25:52,395
慢走

711
00:25:52,395 --> 00:25:52,555
再见

712
00:25:53,755 --> 00:25:54,875
慢走

713
00:25:55,435 --> 00:25:55,755
万先生

714
00:25:56,475 --> 00:25:57,595
刚才答应王局长的事儿

715
00:25:57,675 --> 00:25:58,235
您别忘了

716
00:25:58,715 --> 00:25:59,315
忘不了

717
00:26:00,395 --> 00:26:01,195
什么事儿

718
00:26:02,475 --> 00:26:05,235
为家乡人民演出一场啊！我答应了吗

719
00:26:05,595 --> 00:26:07,115
啊！你答应了

720
00:26:07,115 --> 00:26:08,915
啊！王局长还让我问你

721
00:26:09,115 --> 00:26:10,635
给你多少报纸合适啊

722
00:26:10,635 --> 00:26:11,675
呃，嗯

723
00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:15,195
两百块

724
00:26:15,195 --> 00:26:17,155
嗯，两千块

725
00:26:17,675 --> 00:26:20,755
不，两万块

726
00:26:21,195 --> 00:26:21,395
对

727
00:26:23,995 --> 00:26:24,235
怎么了

728
00:26:24,235 --> 00:26:24,555
小沈

729
00:26:25,035 --> 00:26:26,035
差点撞了一条狗

730
00:26:29,275 --> 00:26:29,675
万先生

731
00:26:30,635 --> 00:26:39,635
你这可是为家乡人民演出啊！

732
00:26:39,841 --> 00:26:44,444
嗯嗯嗯嗯啊啊！

733
00:26:44,444 --> 00:26:47,512
二位好啊！

734
00:26:47,512 --> 00:26:52,115
我们住在一起

735
00:26:52,795 --> 00:26:53,515
那就是朋友了

736
00:26:53,915 --> 00:26:54,515
是的啊

737
00:26:55,915 --> 00:26:57,315
我们等你好久

738
00:26:57,355 --> 00:26:57,835
哦哦

739
00:26:58,075 --> 00:26:58,635
呃，抽烟吧

740
00:26:59,915 --> 00:27:01,515
你还认识我吗

741
00:27:01,595 --> 00:27:03,435
啊，记不得了

742
00:27:04,635 --> 00:27:05,475
天王盖地虎

743
00:27:05,995 --> 00:27:06,715
宝塔镇河妖

744
00:27:07,355 --> 00:27:08,995
嗯，想起来了哇

745
00:27:09,355 --> 00:27:12,315
啊啊啊！对对对对对

746
00:27:12,315 --> 00:27:13,435
呃，在码头上

747
00:27:13,835 --> 00:27:14,955
你给我唱过样板戏

748
00:27:15,835 --> 00:27:16,555
你唱错了

749
00:27:16,555 --> 00:27:17,515
还说我错了

750
00:27:19,355 --> 00:27:19,755
万笑笑

751
00:27:20,155 --> 00:27:21,315
那这密码箱在哪

752
00:27:21,515 --> 00:27:22,195
在哪了

753
00:27:22,475 --> 00:27:23,955
啊！你们怎么都对箱子感兴趣

754
00:27:24,555 --> 00:27:26,115
快说！那这箱子在哪

755
00:27:26,555 --> 00:27:27,035
在哪

756
00:27:27,115 --> 00:27:27,835
快说啊！呃

757
00:27:27,995 --> 00:27:29,995
快说！在在哪

758
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:30,635
啊啊

759
00:27:30,715 --> 00:27:30,955
在哪

760
00:27:30,955 --> 00:27:31,795
在啊！呃

761
00:27:32,475 --> 00:27:33,515
我不告诉你

762
00:27:33,835 --> 00:27:39,995
妈的！你这是干什么呢

763
00:27:39,995 --> 00:27:42,355
哎，万笑笑先生

764
00:27:42,635 --> 00:27:44,315
你无意中拿走了我们的箱子

765
00:27:44,875 --> 00:27:45,395
什么

766
00:27:45,835 --> 00:27:46,875
那箱子是我们的

767
00:27:46,875 --> 00:27:48,555
别逗了！哎哎

768
00:27:48,555 --> 00:27:49,595
万先生

769
00:27:49,755 --> 00:27:50,795
呃，万先生

770
00:27:52,155 --> 00:27:52,355
嗯

771
00:27:54,155 --> 00:27:57,595
你哎！你你你干嘛呀

772
00:27:58,715 --> 00:27:59,635
我干嘛呀

773
00:27:59,755 --> 00:28:04,555
你你你你别下来！下来！我师兄

774
00:28:05,835 --> 00:28:09,955
你别敬酒不吃吃罚酒！有你就按酒垫底

775
00:28:11,275 --> 00:28:14,275
我什么样的酒都能对付来

776
00:28:14,635 --> 00:28:15,755
让他醒醒酒过来

777
00:28:18,715 --> 00:28:23,355
你！哎啊！还打！哎啊！你你干嘛打人呢

778
00:28:23,755 --> 00:28:25,635
让你行！快说！你箱子在哪

779
00:28:25,755 --> 00:28:26,795
说！我不知道

780
00:28:27,115 --> 00:28:29,715
说！快说！你箱子在哪

781
00:28:30,235 --> 00:28:31,235
快说！我不知道

782
00:28:31,515 --> 00:28:33,115
你你打我干什么

783
00:28:33,435 --> 00:28:39,675
这哎哎！你往里打！这我操！你看清楚！哎呦！你打我干什么

784
00:28:39,675 --> 00:28:40,897
你这王八蛋！

785
00:28:40,897 --> 00:28:41,631
别打了！

786
00:28:41,631 --> 00:28:41,875
哎！

787
00:28:41,875 --> 00:28:42,853
这王八蛋！

788
00:28:42,853 --> 00:28:43,586
他打人！

789
00:28:43,586 --> 00:28:45,053
我让你耍滑头！

790
00:28:45,053 --> 00:28:46,764
我让你尝尝厉害！

791
00:28:46,764 --> 00:28:47,497
说说你！

792
00:28:47,497 --> 00:28:47,742
啊！

793
00:28:47,742 --> 00:28:48,720
我真的……啊！

794
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:48,964
啊！

795
00:28:48,964 --> 00:28:49,697
兄弟啊！

796
00:28:49,697 --> 00:28:50,675
不好吃吗

797
00:29:59,915 --> 00:30:08,595
你坐这儿

798
00:30:10,475 --> 00:30:11,755
小朋友

799
00:30:12,875 --> 00:30:13,835
这骨灰盒是谁呀

800
00:30:15,835 --> 00:30:17,955
这是我妈妈

801
00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:22,635
这孩子的爸爸早就去世了

802
00:30:23,115 --> 00:30:23,635
现在呀

803
00:30:23,835 --> 00:30:24,875
是去给他妈妈安葬的

804
00:30:33,755 --> 00:30:34,515
要开车了

805
00:30:34,955 --> 00:30:35,995
请大家坐好

806
00:30:35,995 --> 00:30:36,235
哎，同志

807
00:30:36,235 --> 00:30:36,715
哎，等等

808
00:30:36,875 --> 00:30:37,275
我下去

809
00:30:37,755 --> 00:30:38,555
啊！对不起

810
00:30:57,275 --> 00:31:03,915
妈！妈！笑笑！啊！妈！真是笑笑！你

811
00:31:04,075 --> 00:31:04,275
吗

812
00:31:04,875 --> 00:31:05,075
我好

813
00:31:05,355 --> 00:31:05,555
好

814
00:31:06,315 --> 00:31:07,875
妈，孩儿不孝

815
00:31:09,035 --> 00:31:10,075
两年都没回家看你了

816
00:31:12,395 --> 00:31:14,315
妈妈真是想你呀

817
00:31:15,755 --> 00:31:16,475
坐坐坐

818
00:31:17,355 --> 00:31:18,835
妈，您坐吧

819
00:31:19,035 --> 00:31:19,195
坐

820
00:31:20,075 --> 00:31:20,235
您坐

821
00:31:20,235 --> 00:31:21,555
我给你弄点儿点心吃

822
00:31:30,155 --> 00:31:31,035
妈，我来吧

823
00:31:31,195 --> 00:31:31,675
不不不

824
00:31:31,995 --> 00:31:32,515
你别动

825
00:31:32,955 --> 00:31:33,955
我难得照顾你

826
00:31:34,555 --> 00:31:34,715
啊

827
00:31:36,315 --> 00:31:37,355
这个水布蛋里啊

828
00:31:37,515 --> 00:31:38,435
我放了一点盐

829
00:31:39,195 --> 00:31:40,995
你从小就喜欢这个吃法

830
00:31:41,435 --> 00:31:41,915
您还记得

831
00:31:42,715 --> 00:31:43,955
你活到一百岁

832
00:31:44,475 --> 00:31:45,715
也还是我的儿子

833
00:31:48,555 --> 00:31:50,675
妈，这是给您的人参

834
00:31:51,195 --> 00:31:51,635
营养品

835
00:31:52,315 --> 00:31:52,955
补补身子

836
00:31:53,675 --> 00:31:54,795
我不要这些个

837
00:31:55,195 --> 00:31:55,955
那你要什么说吧

838
00:31:57,755 --> 00:32:02,035
我只要你能够常常回家来看看妈妈

839
00:32:02,875 --> 00:32:03,915
我保证以后经常回来

840
00:32:04,715 --> 00:32:05,675
妈需要钱不

841
00:32:06,635 --> 00:32:07,355
哦，不不不不

842
00:32:07,675 --> 00:32:07,875
嗯

843
00:32:16,235 --> 00:32:18,355
你寄来的钱我都放在这儿了

844
00:32:19,435 --> 00:32:20,235
您干嘛不用呢

845
00:32:21,195 --> 00:32:22,515
我想把它存起来

846
00:32:23,035 --> 00:32:25,315
将来把这个老房子给翻修一下

847
00:32:25,915 --> 00:32:26,595
你老了

848
00:32:26,795 --> 00:32:28,115
还是回到这儿来住

849
00:32:28,875 --> 00:32:29,475
吃吃吃

850
00:32:30,075 --> 00:32:30,275
嘘

851
00:32:33,515 --> 00:32:33,715
妈

852
00:32:33,995 --> 00:32:34,995
万笑笑住这儿吗

853
00:32:35,355 --> 00:32:35,555
啊

854
00:32:36,235 --> 00:32:38,435
听不见

855
00:32:38,875 --> 00:32:39,435
一年级啊

856
00:32:39,995 --> 00:32:40,555
听不见

857
00:32:41,355 --> 00:32:41,555
妈

858
00:32:42,315 --> 00:32:46,475
叫万笑笑

859
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,835
听不见

860
00:32:49,515 --> 00:32:50,315
妈，我得走了

861
00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:51,915
你怎么刚回来就走啊

862
00:32:52,395 --> 00:32:53,035
有人在追我

863
00:32:53,435 --> 00:32:54,195
你犯法了

864
00:32:54,955 --> 00:32:55,675
一时说不清楚

865
00:32:56,315 --> 00:32:57,355
妈，我从后门走了

866
00:32:57,515 --> 00:32:57,915
有人问我

867
00:32:58,155 --> 00:32:58,795
就说没回来过

868
00:32:59,195 --> 00:32:59,435
哎呦

869
00:32:59,435 --> 00:32:59,955
笑笑

870
00:33:01,515 --> 00:33:01,995
笑笑

871
00:33:06,635 --> 00:33:15,635
快，追！

872
00:33:16,635 --> 00:33:25,635
有吗

873
00:33:27,035 --> 00:33:27,475
没见着

874
00:33:27,835 --> 00:33:27,995
那边

875
00:33:28,395 --> 00:33:28,475
好

876
00:33:35,115 --> 00:33:35,275
哪

877
00:33:35,275 --> 00:33:37,915
哎，在这儿

878
00:33:42,155 --> 00:33:46,315
哎呀！哎！你那边

879
00:33:46,315 --> 00:33:47,675
哎，在这儿！好

880
00:33:48,955 --> 00:33:51,115
哎去！

881
00:33:51,115 --> 00:33:52,195
哎！

882
00:33:52,195 --> 00:33:53,275
啊！

883
00:33:53,275 --> 00:33:55,435
哎呀！

884
00:33:55,435 --> 00:33:57,595
哎呀！

885
00:33:57,595 --> 00:33:58,675
哎！

886
00:33:58,675 --> 00:34:00,835
哎呀！

887
00:34:00,835 --> 00:34:01,915
去！

888
00:34:01,915 --> 00:34:04,075
哎呀

889
00:34:04,235 --> 00:34:04,475
外乡友

890
00:34:05,115 --> 00:34:05,995
你他妈有种下来

891
00:34:59,915 --> 00:35:08,915
救命！

892
00:35:08,998 --> 00:35:17,998
大 boss 救我呀你！

893
00:35:49,872 --> 00:35:58,872
小子

894
00:35:58,955 --> 00:36:00,875
这是正当防卫！哎呀！哎呀

895
00:36:01,195 --> 00:36:02,435
妈呀！来

896
00:36:04,795 --> 00:36:04,875
起来

897
00:36:05,195 --> 00:36:06,475
说，东西在哪里

898
00:36:07,275 --> 00:36:08,715
快说！不知道

899
00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:09,515
有密码箱吗

900
00:36:09,515 --> 00:36:09,755
没有

901
00:36:10,075 --> 00:36:11,275
东西到底藏在什么地方

902
00:36:12,395 --> 00:36:13,075
一个地方

903
00:36:13,275 --> 00:36:13,595
什么地方

904
00:36:14,555 --> 00:36:15,475
妈的！哎

905
00:36:17,355 --> 00:36:18,115
别动弹了

906
00:36:18,475 --> 00:36:23,275
不然我就把你的耳朵给割下来！听见没有

907
00:36:23,435 --> 00:36:24,515
我要说了！说

908
00:36:25,275 --> 00:36:25,995
东山宾馆

909
00:36:26,395 --> 00:36:27,715
你要是敢骗我的话

910
00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:30,395
祖师爷我饶不了你！我没骗你

911
00:36:30,395 --> 00:36:30,635
听见没有

912
00:36:30,875 --> 00:36:31,195
真的

913
00:36:31,755 --> 00:36:32,395
没骗你

914
00:36:34,475 --> 00:36:35,355
路上你要是瞎叫

915
00:36:35,355 --> 00:36:35,995
我们就宰了你

916
00:36:36,715 --> 00:36:37,035
听见没有

917
00:36:37,035 --> 00:36:38,760
快！

918
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:47,760
你他妈快点走！

919
00:36:49,106 --> 00:36:52,555
哎呦

920
00:36:52,555 --> 00:36:53,955
呦！哎

921
00:36:54,155 --> 00:36:54,635
你叫什么呀

922
00:36:55,595 --> 00:36:56,315
肚子疼死了

923
00:36:56,315 --> 00:36:56,875
憋不住了

924
00:36:56,955 --> 00:36:58,395
哎，你怎么那么多事儿啊

925
00:36:58,795 --> 00:36:59,555
我想方便

926
00:37:00,075 --> 00:37:02,835
哎，不行不行不行！快走！啊

927
00:37:03,355 --> 00:37:04,715
好，走走走走吧

928
00:37:04,715 --> 00:37:05,195
哎，这里边

929
00:37:05,915 --> 00:37:07,675
快点啊！哎

930
00:37:08,075 --> 00:37:09,195
啊，盯着点

931
00:37:12,315 --> 00:37:12,395
啊！哎

932
00:37:12,395 --> 00:37:12,715
就在这儿

933
00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:14,595
对不起

934
00:37:16,075 --> 00:37:16,955
帮我解解裤子

935
00:37:17,595 --> 00:37:18,715
滚你的蛋！哎

936
00:37:18,955 --> 00:37:19,275
自己解

937
00:37:19,515 --> 00:37:21,555
这，我

938
00:37:22,315 --> 00:37:24,315
你小子别跟我耍滑头！我告诉你啊

939
00:37:25,035 --> 00:37:28,955
啊，好了

940
00:37:29,115 --> 00:37:29,715
拉吧

941
00:37:29,995 --> 00:37:31,235
哎，在这种时候

942
00:37:32,315 --> 00:37:33,955
我我不欢迎别人观摩

943
00:37:34,795 --> 00:37:36,195
你怎么那么多事儿啊

944
00:37:36,955 --> 00:37:37,315
请吧

945
00:37:38,955 --> 00:37:43,695
快点啊！

946
00:37:43,695 --> 00:37:51,595
哎哎哎哎哎

947
00:37:52,075 --> 00:37:54,715
别拉呀！再拉我怎么方便呢

948
00:37:54,715 --> 00:38:01,755
啊！松松松松松！哎啊

949
00:38:09,355 --> 00:38:09,946
啊！

950
00:38:09,946 --> 00:38:10,536
不！

951
00:38:10,536 --> 00:38:11,126
啊！

952
00:38:11,126 --> 00:38:15,849
这他妈小子他跑了！

953
00:38:15,849 --> 00:38:17,030
快追！

954
00:38:17,030 --> 00:38:18,210
哎哎！

955
00:38:18,210 --> 00:38:19,981
快快快！

956
00:38:19,981 --> 00:38:24,114
就就就他们两个！

957
00:38:24,114 --> 00:38:26,475
破坏三厂

958
00:38:26,475 --> 00:38:27,395
把我们三厂弄得一塌

959
00:38:27,435 --> 00:38:29,115
哎哎哎！各位师傅别误会

960
00:38:29,115 --> 00:38:29,355
好吧

961
00:38:29,755 --> 00:38:30,555
哎，走吧走吧走吧

962
00:38:30,555 --> 00:38:31,075
跟我们去一趟

963
00:38:31,115 --> 00:38:31,355
哎，不是

964
00:38:31,675 --> 00:38:33,835
您不能听他胡说呀！明明看的就是你们两个

965
00:38:33,835 --> 00:38:34,475
谁他妈破坏了

966
00:38:34,475 --> 00:38:36,235
走走走走走！哎

967
00:38:37,355 --> 00:38:38,995
师傅

968
00:38:39,595 --> 00:38:45,795
别听我说！我他妈就没破坏三厂！停车！哎

969
00:38:46,075 --> 00:38:50,715
师傅！哎哎！师傅师傅干什么

970
00:38:51,355 --> 00:38:51,995
哎，帮个忙

971
00:38:52,075 --> 00:38:52,595
我想搭个车

972
00:38:52,875 --> 00:38:53,035
嗯

973
00:38:54,555 --> 00:38:56,635
哎哎！快上来吧！哎

974
00:38:56,715 --> 00:38:56,875
好

975
00:39:00,875 --> 00:39:01,995
谢谢了

976
00:39:03,515 --> 00:39:05,275
我一眼就认出你是大明星万笑笑

977
00:39:05,995 --> 00:39:06,955
我常看你的演出啊

978
00:39:07,515 --> 00:39:07,755
是吗

979
00:39:08,075 --> 00:39:08,475
演的太棒了

980
00:39:08,795 --> 00:39:09,355
可惜我不是

981
00:39:09,355 --> 00:39:13,035
啊，长得太像

982
00:39:14,875 --> 00:39:15,155
是啊

983
00:39:15,915 --> 00:39:16,555
这种天才啊

984
00:39:17,115 --> 00:39:18,395
中国几百年也出不了一个

985
00:39:19,755 --> 00:39:21,035
师傅去不去桃源山

986
00:39:21,595 --> 00:39:21,835
不去

987
00:39:22,555 --> 00:39:23,435
不过我可以送你一段

988
00:39:24,075 --> 00:39:24,355
谢谢

989
00:39:32,235 --> 00:39:33,195
师傅抽支烟吧

990
00:39:33,195 --> 00:39:35,475
啊，谢谢

991
00:40:03,915 --> 00:40:08,675
！停车！停车！停车！哎！停车！停车！前面在拍电视剧

992
00:40:08,955 --> 00:40:09,195
干什么

993
00:40:09,835 --> 00:40:10,435
在拍电视剧

994
00:40:11,435 --> 00:40:12,955
拍电视也不能影响交通啊！哎

995
00:40:12,955 --> 00:40:13,675
让你停就停吧

996
00:40:13,675 --> 00:40:14,315
公安局同意的

997
00:40:14,475 --> 00:40:14,795
师傅

998
00:40:15,195 --> 00:40:15,755
出什么事儿了

999
00:40:16,235 --> 00:40:17,275
拍电视的

1000
00:40:17,275 --> 00:40:18,315
啊！好了

1001
00:40:19,195 --> 00:40:19,515
对不起

1002
00:40:19,995 --> 00:40:21,195
我要拐弯了

1003
00:40:21,195 --> 00:40:22,235
啊！陶然山啊

1004
00:40:22,635 --> 00:40:24,075
这里过去一拐弯就到了

1005
00:40:24,315 --> 00:40:25,115
啊！师傅

1006
00:40:25,275 --> 00:40:25,915
买盒烟抽吧

1007
00:40:26,475 --> 00:40:28,795
哎，我看你长得像万笑笑才带你的

1008
00:40:29,595 --> 00:40:30,995
你你这不是看不起我吗

1009
00:40:31,435 --> 00:40:31,755
啊哈！再见

1010
00:40:34,155 --> 00:40:34,475
走好

1011
00:40:34,875 --> 00:40:39,595
啊！万笑笑老师啊！啊！我们导演找你找的好苦啊！是吗

1012
00:40:40,075 --> 00:40:40,635
哪个导演

1013
00:40:40,875 --> 00:40:45,715
于导演啊！等你拍戏呢！还不行呢！别磨蹭了！我这有事

1014
00:40:45,835 --> 00:40:47,275
有事！快点啊！走吧

1015
00:40:47,275 --> 00:40:47,595
万老师

1016
00:40:47,595 --> 00:40:48,395
真是万笑笑

1017
00:40:49,355 --> 00:40:50,835
真是真人不露相

1018
00:40:51,755 --> 00:40:54,675
哎，我可见到万笑笑了

1019
00:40:57,515 --> 00:40:58,235
这个角色呢

1020
00:40:58,395 --> 00:40:59,035
非您莫属

1021
00:40:59,915 --> 00:41:03,755
不，不行啊！那不行！帮帮忙！二十个镜头算一部戏

1022
00:41:03,755 --> 00:41:04,195
好吧

1023
00:41:04,555 --> 00:41:05,435
酬金一千元

1024
00:41:05,835 --> 00:41:06,155
怎么样

1025
00:41:08,315 --> 00:41:08,875
什么角色

1026
00:41:09,195 --> 00:41:09,795
糊涂县官

1027
00:41:10,315 --> 00:41:10,555
好吧

1028
00:41:10,715 --> 00:41:11,195
给我看个剧本

1029
00:41:11,435 --> 00:41:12,875
嗨，您是大明星了

1030
00:41:12,875 --> 00:41:14,955
还看什么剧本呢

1031
00:41:14,955 --> 00:41:15,675
哎，导演

1032
00:41:15,675 --> 00:41:16,075
来来来

1033
00:41:16,075 --> 00:41:17,595
下来下来下来下来啊！嗯

1034
00:41:18,475 --> 00:41:18,715
导演

1035
00:41:18,955 --> 00:41:19,595
你这个角色呢

1036
00:41:19,595 --> 00:41:20,155
我换人了

1037
00:41:20,475 --> 00:41:20,795
哎啊

1038
00:41:21,035 --> 00:41:22,075
怎么换人了

1039
00:41:22,075 --> 00:41:22,235
哎这

1040
00:41:22,715 --> 00:41:23,435
这这怎么行啊

1041
00:41:23,595 --> 00:41:24,115
我要抗议

1042
00:41:24,395 --> 00:41:25,515
这是对我人格的侮辱

1043
00:41:25,755 --> 00:41:27,235
小阿弟不要生气

1044
00:41:28,075 --> 00:41:28,795
这个角色呢

1045
00:41:28,795 --> 00:41:29,995
我叫万笑笑来演了

1046
00:41:30,555 --> 00:41:30,795
我呢

1047
00:41:31,275 --> 00:41:32,275
要的是知名度

1048
00:41:32,795 --> 00:41:33,915
有了万笑笑这个名字呢

1049
00:41:33,915 --> 00:41:34,475
真不行啊

1050
00:41:34,475 --> 00:41:35,915
我这录像带能多卖几百盒

1051
00:41:36,555 --> 00:41:36,795
你呢

1052
00:41:37,275 --> 00:41:38,155
我给你换一个角色

1053
00:41:38,475 --> 00:41:39,235
丑老婆赵富

1054
00:41:39,275 --> 00:41:43,515
好，哎呀好

1055
00:41:43,515 --> 00:41:44,115
哎，我跟你说啊

1056
00:41:44,555 --> 00:41:45,115
这个镜头呢

1057
00:41:45,995 --> 00:41:46,635
你骑着驴

1058
00:41:47,115 --> 00:41:48,195
从那个山坡走过来

1059
00:41:48,555 --> 00:41:49,555
遇到一具女尸

1060
00:41:49,915 --> 00:41:50,635
啊，听见没

1061
00:41:51,755 --> 00:41:52,635
哎，我说导演

1062
00:41:52,715 --> 00:41:53,515
到底拍不拍呀

1063
00:41:53,595 --> 00:41:54,155
再不拍呀

1064
00:41:54,315 --> 00:41:55,315
我可就睡着了啊！哎

1065
00:41:55,515 --> 00:41:56,235
刘小姐

1066
00:41:56,235 --> 00:41:56,795
您赶紧装死

1067
00:41:57,035 --> 00:41:57,515
我马上拍

1068
00:41:57,675 --> 00:41:58,555
马上拍啊！啊

1069
00:41:59,435 --> 00:42:00,275
他怎么没穿服装

1070
00:42:00,555 --> 00:42:02,195
哎，他就是这身服装嘛

1071
00:42:02,235 --> 00:42:04,195
啊！湖都县官遇到拾荒女郎

1072
00:42:04,475 --> 00:42:05,515
你这个戏够荒诞的

1073
00:42:05,515 --> 00:42:06,155
没点绝活

1074
00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:11,155
录像带卖不出去啊！走

1075
00:42:12,475 --> 00:42:13,595
好，下驴

1076
00:42:14,475 --> 00:42:14,755
下来

1077
00:42:16,155 --> 00:42:16,475
走过去

1078
00:42:17,435 --> 00:42:18,235
对，走过去

1079
00:42:23,115 --> 00:42:24,675
发现什么异常情况

1080
00:42:24,955 --> 00:42:25,355
禀告老爷

1081
00:42:25,675 --> 00:42:27,675
这无名女尸头部有钝器击伤的痕迹

1082
00:42:27,675 --> 00:42:28,275
腰部有淤血

1083
00:42:29,035 --> 00:42:29,235
哦

1084
00:42:38,715 --> 00:42:39,195
哎呀

1085
00:42:39,275 --> 00:42:39,755
这是导演

1086
00:42:40,475 --> 00:42:41,675
他装我演吸血

1087
00:42:41,675 --> 00:42:41,835
严肃点

1088
00:42:42,395 --> 00:42:42,555
吸哪里

1089
00:42:43,675 --> 00:42:43,835
吸血

1090
00:42:43,835 --> 00:42:44,075
就是你吗

1091
00:42:44,075 --> 00:42:45,835
哎，我刘小姐

1092
00:42:46,235 --> 00:42:47,195
装死人不能动的

1093
00:42:47,515 --> 00:42:48,035
你懂吧

1094
00:42:48,715 --> 00:42:49,035
不能动

1095
00:42:49,035 --> 00:42:50,915
我我从小就怕痒的嘛

1096
00:42:51,035 --> 00:42:51,355
哎呀

1097
00:42:51,355 --> 00:42:51,995
你这不行的

1098
00:42:52,475 --> 00:42:52,955
哎，你躺下

1099
00:42:53,115 --> 00:42:53,675
咱们再来一遍

1100
00:42:53,675 --> 00:42:55,755
来来来

1101
00:42:56,315 --> 00:42:57,715
嗯，我说于导啊

1102
00:42:57,995 --> 00:42:59,275
这女演员太差劲了

1103
00:42:59,275 --> 00:42:59,955
哪找来的啊

1104
00:43:00,795 --> 00:43:01,715
这个女演员呐

1105
00:43:01,915 --> 00:43:04,155
是我们赞助单位总经理的小姨子

1106
00:43:04,715 --> 00:43:05,675
不给她演点戏啊

1107
00:43:05,835 --> 00:43:06,955
这钱就拨不过来

1108
00:43:07,195 --> 00:43:07,995
我管不了那么多

1109
00:43:10,555 --> 00:43:11,035
咱们再来一遍

1110
00:43:11,035 --> 00:43:11,275
我不行了

1111
00:43:11,275 --> 00:43:11,595
再来一遍

1112
00:43:11,755 --> 00:43:12,715
帮帮忙

1113
00:43:13,915 --> 00:43:15,835
哎哎！万笑笑

1114
00:43:15,835 --> 00:43:15,995
万笑笑

1115
00:43:16,235 --> 00:43:18,395
你迟钝啊！哎哎哎！快

1116
00:43:18,395 --> 00:43:18,955
笑笑

1117
00:43:18,955 --> 00:43:21,835
哎哎哎！万笑笑

1118
00:43:21,995 --> 00:43:25,835
站住！站住！哎哎！回来！回来！万笑笑

1119
00:43:25,995 --> 00:43:26,235
导演

1120
00:43:26,235 --> 00:43:32,259
咱们道具只有一把枪啊！

1121
00:43:32,259 --> 00:43:33,463
去追！

1122
00:43:33,463 --> 00:43:34,668
去追！

1123
00:43:34,668 --> 00:43:35,873
哎哎！

1124
00:43:35,873 --> 00:43:37,078
去追！

1125
00:43:37,078 --> 00:43:39,487
还有四车！

1126
00:43:39,487 --> 00:43:41,294
快去追！

1127
00:43:41,294 --> 00:43:43,101
快去追！

1128
00:43:43,101 --> 00:43:46,113
快快点骑呀！

1129
00:43:46,113 --> 00:43:46,715
哎

1130
00:43:46,715 --> 00:43:47,818
快点！

1131
00:43:47,818 --> 00:43:48,920
快点！

1132
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,023
站住！

1133
00:43:50,023 --> 00:43:51,677
你快点！

1134
00:43:51,677 --> 00:43:53,882
快点骑呀！

1135
00:43:53,882 --> 00:43:54,985
快点！

1136
00:43:54,985 --> 00:43:56,087
别动！

1137
00:43:56,087 --> 00:43:57,190
过来！

1138
00:43:57,190 --> 00:43:58,844
开枪了！

1139
00:43:58,844 --> 00:43:59,395
哎

1140
00:43:59,755 --> 00:44:00,715
他有枪

1141
00:44:00,715 --> 00:44:01,515
那枪是演戏的道具

1142
00:44:01,915 --> 00:44:02,075
假的

1143
00:44:02,395 --> 00:44:02,635
快追

1144
00:44:03,195 --> 00:44:03,915
好，别过来

1145
00:44:04,875 --> 00:44:08,875
我真的开枪了！哎呦

1146
00:44:08,875 --> 00:44:11,995
哎呦！你

1147
00:44:11,995 --> 00:44:12,795
你不说假的吗

1148
00:44:13,355 --> 00:44:13,835
怎么响了

1149
00:44:14,155 --> 00:44:17,035
这，哎呦

1150
00:44:17,915 --> 00:44:20,075
快点追！你在前面骑

1151
00:44:20,395 --> 00:44:21,275
我，快快快

1152
00:44:21,275 --> 00:44:25,262
好好快！

1153
00:44:25,262 --> 00:44:33,235
丑角这个行当

1154
00:44:34,315 --> 00:44:39,235
早在宋朝、元朝南戏中

1155
00:44:39,675 --> 00:44:41,675
丑角就已经存在了

1156
00:44:42,235 --> 00:44:44,915
丑角的脸谱和他的造型

1157
00:44:45,675 --> 00:44:48,955
往往是在鼻梁中间抹一块白粉

1158
00:44:50,155 --> 00:44:51,715
在传统的剧目中

1159
00:44:52,715 --> 00:44:56,075
丑角扮演的人物种类是很多的

1160
00:44:56,875 --> 00:44:58,315
有的心地善良

1161
00:44:58,795 --> 00:44:59,955
行动滑稽

1162
00:45:00,635 --> 00:45:01,715
语言幽默

1163
00:45:02,475 --> 00:45:04,155
有的肝胆侠义

1164
00:45:04,875 --> 00:45:05,715
路见不平

1165
00:45:06,315 --> 00:45:10,035
拔刀相助；有的奸诈刁恶

1166
00:45:10,475 --> 00:45:11,715
千令卑鄙

1167
00:45:12,315 --> 00:45:13,395
见利忘义

1168
00:45:19,035 --> 00:45:19,795
在台上

1169
00:45:19,915 --> 00:45:22,275
你们演的是丑角；在台下

1170
00:45:22,475 --> 00:45:23,635
可绝不是小丑

1171
00:45:25,995 --> 00:45:28,035
演戏要讲个戏德

1172
00:45:29,195 --> 00:45:30,755
做人要讲人品

1173
00:45:31,515 --> 00:45:32,875
绝不能像万潇笑那样

1174
00:45:33,675 --> 00:45:34,835
破坏我们的门风

1175
00:45:54,795 --> 00:45:55,155
师傅

1176
00:45:55,435 --> 00:45:57,315
乡下来了一位骑自行车的县太爷

1177
00:45:57,515 --> 00:45:58,355
求见师傅

1178
00:45:59,275 --> 00:46:02,955
别胡说！是不是县文化局的王局长来了

1179
00:46:03,115 --> 00:46:03,395
不是

1180
00:46:03,675 --> 00:46:04,675
他头戴乌纱帽

1181
00:46:04,715 --> 00:46:06,035
身穿七品朝服

1182
00:46:06,795 --> 00:46:08,755
嗯，身上还挂了一个盒子枪

1183
00:46:10,075 --> 00:46:10,835
这是什么打扮

1184
00:46:11,515 --> 00:46:12,435
他通报姓名了吗

1185
00:46:12,715 --> 00:46:13,555
这是他的名片

1186
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:18,435
丑角艺术家万笑笑

1187
00:46:19,115 --> 00:46:19,555
哼，嘿

1188
00:46:21,195 --> 00:46:23,435
去，把他给请进来

1189
00:46:23,515 --> 00:46:23,715
是

1190
00:46:26,235 --> 00:46:26,875
师傅在上

1191
00:46:27,915 --> 00:46:28,755
弟子万笑笑

1192
00:46:29,355 --> 00:46:30,635
前来备件师傅

1193
00:46:32,475 --> 00:46:33,635
下面跪的

1194
00:46:34,475 --> 00:46:38,115
可是丑角艺术家万笑笑吗

1195
00:46:38,955 --> 00:46:39,715
小的不敢

1196
00:46:40,875 --> 00:46:41,435
嘿嘿

1197
00:46:42,475 --> 00:46:45,675
你这名片上印的明明是丑角艺术家嘛

1198
00:46:46,475 --> 00:46:46,835
师傅

1199
00:46:47,515 --> 00:46:48,875
名片都是吹牛的

1200
00:46:49,675 --> 00:46:50,355
头衔儿显得大

1201
00:46:50,475 --> 00:46:50,915
吃得开

1202
00:46:51,515 --> 00:46:56,235
混账！请你把头给我抬起来

1203
00:46:57,195 --> 00:46:58,755
有罪不敢抬头

1204
00:46:59,195 --> 00:47:00,235
你别给我演戏了

1205
00:47:01,275 --> 00:47:01,755
我再问你

1206
00:47:02,395 --> 00:47:07,435
你这身七品官的打扮是怎么档子事儿啊

1207
00:47:07,435 --> 00:47:09,875
啊，刚才碰到一个导演

1208
00:47:10,395 --> 00:47:12,035
他让我去拍电视剧

1209
00:47:13,115 --> 00:47:14,035
让我演个糊涂官

1210
00:47:14,875 --> 00:47:15,635
我不想演

1211
00:47:16,315 --> 00:47:17,675
可是个老朋友碍着面子

1212
00:47:17,995 --> 00:47:18,475
我问你

1213
00:47:19,195 --> 00:47:21,555
你这糊涂官是明朝人是吧

1214
00:47:22,075 --> 00:47:24,195
啊，可带着手枪演戏

1215
00:47:25,115 --> 00:47:25,795
这像话吗

1216
00:47:26,315 --> 00:47:27,715
啊，师傅

1217
00:47:28,075 --> 00:47:29,475
这个导演狗屁不通

1218
00:47:29,675 --> 00:47:30,195
瞎胡来

1219
00:47:30,475 --> 00:47:30,915
不懂行

1220
00:47:31,355 --> 00:47:32,115
他不懂行

1221
00:47:32,715 --> 00:47:33,955
难道你也不懂行

1222
00:47:34,315 --> 00:47:37,475
啊，我教你唱的古装戏里头

1223
00:47:37,995 --> 00:47:39,355
哪一出是用过手枪

1224
00:47:40,795 --> 00:47:41,835
呃，是没用过

1225
00:47:41,835 --> 00:47:42,595
你为了捞钱

1226
00:47:43,355 --> 00:47:46,955
竟敢糟蹋祖宗留下的艺术！来呀

1227
00:47:47,355 --> 00:47:50,795
加法子！师傅且慢

1228
00:47:51,275 --> 00:47:52,235
听我把话说明白了

1229
00:47:52,315 --> 00:47:52,875
再打不迟

1230
00:47:53,355 --> 00:47:53,795
说吧

1231
00:47:54,395 --> 00:47:57,675
哎，师傅

1232
00:47:58,795 --> 00:47:59,635
戏曲不景气

1233
00:48:00,395 --> 00:48:01,315
你不会不知道吧

1234
00:48:02,155 --> 00:48:02,995
观众越来越少

1235
00:48:04,235 --> 00:48:05,315
剧团是越演越赔钱

1236
00:48:05,835 --> 00:48:06,955
连工资都开不出来了

1237
00:48:08,715 --> 00:48:10,435
剧团领导让我们自己养活自己

1238
00:48:11,515 --> 00:48:12,035
没办法

1239
00:48:12,635 --> 00:48:13,635
只好改行演小品

1240
00:48:14,635 --> 00:48:15,595
我也是出于无奈啊

1241
00:48:19,355 --> 00:48:19,675
过来

1242
00:48:19,915 --> 00:48:20,315
坐下

1243
00:48:21,995 --> 00:48:24,155
也许我老了

1244
00:48:24,875 --> 00:48:25,915
跟不上形势了

1245
00:48:27,355 --> 00:48:27,955
有些事

1246
00:48:29,115 --> 00:48:30,115
我就是看不惯

1247
00:48:31,435 --> 00:48:32,115
想不通

1248
00:48:32,955 --> 00:48:33,995
也管不了啊

1249
00:48:36,555 --> 00:48:37,795
可你是我的徒弟

1250
00:48:38,315 --> 00:48:38,835
我就要管

1251
00:48:39,675 --> 00:48:40,675
我愿听师傅的赐教

1252
00:48:42,555 --> 00:48:44,515
听说你赚了不少钱

1253
00:48:45,115 --> 00:48:46,035
还买了汽车

1254
00:48:46,475 --> 00:48:46,675
嗯

1255
00:48:47,435 --> 00:48:49,235
可却经常偷税漏税

1256
00:48:50,635 --> 00:48:51,715
不是经常偷税漏税

1257
00:48:52,155 --> 00:48:52,715
你偷过没有

1258
00:48:53,915 --> 00:48:54,155
没有

1259
00:48:54,635 --> 00:48:54,835
嗯

1260
00:48:55,675 --> 00:48:56,835
呃，漏过

1261
00:48:57,515 --> 00:48:57,715
嗯

1262
00:48:58,875 --> 00:48:59,475
还听说

1263
00:49:00,395 --> 00:49:03,235
王局长请你为家乡人民演出一场

1264
00:49:04,395 --> 00:49:06,275
你竟要两万块钱的出场费

1265
00:49:07,915 --> 00:49:09,355
这事儿你怎么知道的

1266
00:49:09,595 --> 00:49:10,355
好事不出门

1267
00:49:10,635 --> 00:49:11,395
坏事传千里

1268
00:49:12,235 --> 00:49:12,795
这事儿不算

1269
00:49:13,515 --> 00:49:13,995
我喝多了

1270
00:49:14,235 --> 00:49:14,915
糊涂了

1271
00:49:15,515 --> 00:49:16,995
哼，酒后吐真言

1272
00:49:18,315 --> 00:49:19,915
你自以为是大明星了

1273
00:49:19,915 --> 00:49:21,075
就可以漫天要价

1274
00:49:21,835 --> 00:49:23,035
你的戏德到哪儿去了

1275
00:49:25,515 --> 00:49:27,875
听说你还和猪一块儿做广告

1276
00:49:28,555 --> 00:49:29,635
不是和猪做广告

1277
00:49:29,675 --> 00:49:30,595
是给猪做广告

1278
00:49:30,875 --> 00:49:31,595
反正都一样

1279
00:49:32,075 --> 00:49:33,515
你说这算什么玩意儿

1280
00:49:34,155 --> 00:49:35,075
啊！报告师傅

1281
00:49:35,275 --> 00:49:35,475
啊

1282
00:49:36,315 --> 00:49:38,195
山下发现两个形迹可疑的人

1283
00:49:38,395 --> 00:49:39,315
他们打听万师兄

1284
00:49:39,675 --> 00:49:40,155
哦，去吧

1285
00:49:45,835 --> 00:49:46,475
来，上

1286
00:50:01,684 --> 00:50:01,764
嗯，嘿

1287
00:50:12,084 --> 00:50:12,964
咦，假的

1288
00:50:13,684 --> 00:50:14,524
二位来了

1289
00:50:15,364 --> 00:50:16,484
你们初到我这儿

1290
00:50:16,964 --> 00:50:18,364
就持刀行凶

1291
00:50:19,284 --> 00:50:21,724
未免太失礼了吧

1292
00:50:22,004 --> 00:50:22,364
师傅

1293
00:50:22,884 --> 00:50:23,524
就是这俩人

1294
00:50:24,084 --> 00:50:25,204
在宾馆抢我的箱子

1295
00:50:25,364 --> 00:50:27,964
还想勒死我

1296
00:50:28,084 --> 00:50:28,164
哎，嗯

1297
00:50:29,524 --> 00:50:29,804
老头

1298
00:50:30,644 --> 00:50:31,564
你给我走开！你

1299
00:50:32,244 --> 00:50:34,844
我劝你们还是不要难为我的徒弟万笑笑

1300
00:50:35,364 --> 00:50:36,364
箱子不到手

1301
00:50:37,524 --> 00:50:38,684
我们跟他没完

1302
00:50:40,004 --> 00:50:40,964
嘿，哎

1303
00:50:40,964 --> 00:50:41,364
哎，哎呦

1304
00:50:41,764 --> 00:50:42,084
哎呦

1305
00:50:42,084 --> 00:50:43,564
我是先礼后兵

1306
00:50:44,964 --> 00:50:45,284
徒儿们

1307
00:50:46,244 --> 00:50:49,244
按照第一套方案操练起来

1308
00:52:59,924 --> 00:53:04,964
好了

1309
00:53:05,044 --> 00:53:05,364
哎呀

1310
00:53:06,004 --> 00:53:06,404
怎么样

1311
00:53:07,444 --> 00:53:08,684
答应我的条件了吧

1312
00:53:09,124 --> 00:53:10,324
答应

1313
00:53:10,644 --> 00:53:11,764
我们答应条件

1314
00:53:12,164 --> 00:53:13,284
好，把路闪开

1315
00:53:13,844 --> 00:53:14,524
让他们下山

1316
00:53:15,284 --> 00:53:17,844
快，快走！哎呦

1317
00:53:17,844 --> 00:53:17,924
哎呦

1318
00:53:20,724 --> 00:53:22,004
他们都走了

1319
00:53:22,004 --> 00:53:23,524
嗯，多谢师父

1320
00:53:25,204 --> 00:53:26,124
你明天下山

1321
00:53:27,364 --> 00:53:30,404
路上还得小心才是啊！记住了

1322
00:53:31,204 --> 00:53:31,364
嗯

1323
00:53:33,284 --> 00:53:34,364
就是这个人

1324
00:53:35,524 --> 00:53:37,164
他叫万笑笑

1325
00:53:37,844 --> 00:53:38,964
是个演小丑的

1326
00:53:40,164 --> 00:53:41,244
很有点名气

1327
00:53:41,364 --> 00:53:43,284
想不到他也干我们这一行

1328
00:53:44,804 --> 00:53:47,044
你们俩要马上赶到东线去

1329
00:53:47,524 --> 00:53:50,084
不惜一切手段把密码箱搞到手

1330
00:53:50,484 --> 00:53:51,484
必要的时候

1331
00:53:52,084 --> 00:53:53,804
可以干掉这个万笑笑

1332
00:53:54,564 --> 00:53:55,324
事成之后

1333
00:53:55,844 --> 00:53:57,204
好处人人有份儿

1334
00:53:58,324 --> 00:53:58,684
当然

1335
00:53:59,604 --> 00:54:00,564
拿到箱子的人

1336
00:54:01,124 --> 00:54:02,004
我还要重赏

1337
00:54:03,044 --> 00:54:05,924
赏金五万元

1338
00:54:07,924 --> 00:54:08,364
雪军

1339
00:54:09,204 --> 00:54:10,084
你在想什么

1340
00:54:11,284 --> 00:54:13,164
我在想能得到这笔钱

1341
00:54:14,804 --> 00:54:15,124
谢谢

1342
00:54:15,844 --> 00:54:16,804
欢迎您下次再来

1343
00:54:16,884 --> 00:54:17,644
再见

1344
00:54:24,564 --> 00:54:33,564
各位旅客请注意

1345
00:54:46,564 --> 00:54:50,924
严禁将有毒、易燃、易爆的物品带上列车

1346
00:54:51,524 --> 00:54:53,804
比如鞭炮、炸药

1347
00:54:54,644 --> 00:54:55,084
李先生

1348
00:54:55,604 --> 00:54:56,404
请你想想办法

1349
00:54:56,964 --> 00:54:59,604
我还人有病啊！各位旅客请注意

1350
00:54:59,604 --> 00:55:01,844
严禁将有软卧、二号包房

1351
00:55:01,844 --> 00:55:02,884
有位置啊

1352
00:55:03,364 --> 00:55:04,404
请请你帮帮忙

1353
00:55:14,404 --> 00:55:17,284
这就是私自携带违禁物品上车

1354
00:55:17,764 --> 00:55:21,044
引起爆炸所造成的严重后果

1355
00:55:21,204 --> 00:55:21,604
谁呀

1356
00:55:22,004 --> 00:55:22,364
列车员

1357
00:55:23,204 --> 00:55:23,284
啊

1358
00:55:27,844 --> 00:55:28,564
这你们俩

1359
00:55:28,644 --> 00:55:29,204
一个上铺

1360
00:55:29,204 --> 00:55:29,684
一个下铺

1361
00:55:29,764 --> 00:55:35,404
啊！对不起

1362
00:55:35,604 --> 00:55:36,164
打扰您了

1363
00:55:36,804 --> 00:55:37,164
对不起

1364
00:55:37,204 --> 00:55:37,564
进来了

1365
00:55:37,844 --> 00:55:38,244
哦，好好好

1366
00:55:38,724 --> 00:55:39,324
哎呀！谢谢

1367
00:55:39,524 --> 00:55:41,324
实在感谢你啊！哎

1368
00:55:41,444 --> 00:55:42,004
太谢谢你了

1369
00:55:42,964 --> 00:55:43,044
哎

1370
00:55:43,924 --> 00:55:44,084
啊！哦

1371
00:55:44,084 --> 00:55:45,244
好好好

1372
00:55:45,444 --> 00:55:46,004
哦，对了

1373
00:55:46,484 --> 00:55:47,044
吃个橘子吧

1374
00:55:49,524 --> 00:55:50,644
这是我的名片

1375
00:55:51,364 --> 00:55:52,724
请笑纳

1376
00:55:53,684 --> 00:55:54,164
侯承包哎

1377
00:55:54,164 --> 00:55:54,804
对啊

1378
00:55:54,964 --> 00:55:57,604
专门承包演员的演出业务啊

1379
00:55:57,764 --> 00:55:59,444
歌星、舞星、笑星、托星

1380
00:55:59,764 --> 00:56:00,564
凡是星来

1381
00:56:00,564 --> 00:56:01,164
我全包

1382
00:56:01,924 --> 00:56:04,204
哎，来抽支红双喜啊！哎

1383
00:56:04,884 --> 00:56:05,404
来不客气

1384
00:56:05,684 --> 00:56:06,324
我只抽万烟

1385
00:56:06,964 --> 00:56:08,324
啊啊！哦

1386
00:56:08,404 --> 00:56:09,524
你要是想演出啊

1387
00:56:09,844 --> 00:56:10,444
那就找我

1388
00:56:10,804 --> 00:56:12,724
保证报酬丰厚啊！啊

1389
00:56:12,724 --> 00:56:13,164
谢谢

1390
00:56:13,204 --> 00:56:13,964
现在我很忙

1391
00:56:14,084 --> 00:56:14,564
以后再说

1392
00:56:14,644 --> 00:56:15,924
哎，没关系嘛

1393
00:56:16,244 --> 00:56:17,444
我们下次就能

1394
00:56:18,164 --> 00:56:19,484
人家是著名小丑

1395
00:56:19,604 --> 00:56:20,284
艺术大师

1396
00:56:20,884 --> 00:56:22,364
还需要你这种小噱头

1397
00:56:22,484 --> 00:56:23,524
小姐过奖了

1398
00:56:24,324 --> 00:56:24,924
以后有机会

1399
00:56:25,524 --> 00:56:26,644
我会和侯先生合作的

1400
00:56:29,044 --> 00:56:30,644
哦，我来介绍一下

1401
00:56:30,964 --> 00:56:32,204
这是我太太许君

1402
00:56:33,524 --> 00:56:35,004
万先生能认识您

1403
00:56:35,204 --> 00:56:36,044
我非常高兴

1404
00:56:36,804 --> 00:56:37,484
我也很高兴

1405
00:56:40,644 --> 00:56:42,244
对不起

1406
00:56:43,124 --> 00:56:43,524
万先生

1407
00:56:43,844 --> 00:56:45,124
你没有喷嚏吗

1408
00:56:45,124 --> 00:56:46,644
啊！这火车开的

1409
00:56:48,564 --> 00:56:48,884
真是

1410
00:56:55,444 --> 00:56:55,924
旅客们

1411
00:56:56,484 --> 00:56:57,684
灰尘车站到了

1412
00:56:58,244 --> 00:56:59,204
下车旅客

1413
00:56:59,444 --> 00:57:00,604
啊！到站了

1414
00:57:00,724 --> 00:57:00,924
万花

1415
00:57:01,444 --> 00:57:01,924
出去看看

1416
00:57:02,244 --> 00:57:03,204
啊，烧鸡不错

1417
00:57:03,524 --> 00:57:03,884
旅客们

1418
00:57:04,484 --> 00:57:05,684
辉城车站到了

1419
00:57:06,244 --> 00:57:07,124
下车的旅客

1420
00:57:07,684 --> 00:57:08,884
旅游一号丁的

1421
00:57:09,524 --> 00:57:10,004
好，快点

1422
00:57:11,124 --> 00:57:11,924
烧鸡

1423
00:57:12,404 --> 00:57:13,364
辉城车站到

1424
00:57:13,364 --> 00:57:14,804
下车的旅客

1425
00:57:14,804 --> 00:57:17,644
旅游一号丁的

1426
00:57:18,084 --> 00:57:19,564
好快点

1427
00:57:20,004 --> 00:57:20,364
你绿

1428
00:57:23,684 --> 00:57:29,764
这烧鸡不错吧

1429
00:57:30,004 --> 00:57:39,004
嗯嗯嗯嗯

1430
00:57:46,644 --> 00:57:46,884
快！哦

1431
00:57:48,164 --> 00:57:48,444
在哪

1432
00:57:48,724 --> 00:57:49,044
哦，雪军

1433
00:57:49,924 --> 00:57:51,044
吃烧鸡呀！哎呀

1434
00:57:51,444 --> 00:57:51,924
开这玩笑

1435
00:57:51,924 --> 00:57:53,044
笑你买什么烧鸡呀

1436
00:57:53,364 --> 00:57:53,684
还人呢

1437
00:57:53,924 --> 00:57:55,124
他就在站台上

1438
00:57:55,444 --> 00:57:56,564
东西都还在这儿呢

1439
00:57:57,044 --> 00:57:58,084
他跑到哪儿去啊

1440
00:57:58,564 --> 00:57:59,524
我肚子饿得要命

1441
00:57:59,684 --> 00:58:00,244
你不吃啊

1442
00:58:00,404 --> 00:58:00,884
我吃了

1443
00:58:02,004 --> 00:58:03,244
吃吧

1444
00:58:03,524 --> 00:58:04,204
他跑不了

1445
00:58:04,324 --> 00:58:04,844
你放心

1446
00:58:05,684 --> 00:58:14,324
快点

1447
00:58:14,564 --> 00:58:14,964
在哪啊

1448
00:58:15,124 --> 00:58:16,084
嘿，啊

1449
00:58:16,324 --> 00:58:21,764
在前面啊！快！哎

1450
00:58:22,964 --> 00:58:23,764
在这儿！哎

1451
00:58:23,924 --> 00:58:25,444
站住！你站住！你慢点

1452
00:58:25,444 --> 00:58:25,524
雪军

1453
00:58:25,604 --> 00:58:26,804
别跑！快点

1454
00:58:26,884 --> 00:58:35,044
站住！站住！快点

1455
00:58:38,484 --> 00:58:47,484
快点！嗯

1456
00:58:50,084 --> 00:58:50,644
姐们

1457
00:58:50,644 --> 00:58:51,444
嗯，在后面

1458
00:58:56,964 --> 00:59:00,564
哎呀！

1459
00:59:00,564 --> 00:59:02,364
呀！

1460
00:59:02,364 --> 00:59:05,964
哎呀！

1461
00:59:05,964 --> 00:59:09,564
哎呀！

1462
00:59:09,564 --> 00:59:11,364
快

1463
00:59:11,844 --> 00:59:15,604
哎呀！快！哎呀！去！哎呀

1464
00:59:15,604 --> 00:59:20,124
快，他不能跑了

1465
00:59:21,204 --> 00:59:22,404
站住

1466
00:59:22,404 --> 00:59:24,924
站住！你这

1467
00:59:25,364 --> 00:59:32,484
哎呀！万笑笑

1468
00:59:32,964 --> 00:59:36,004
你跑不了了

1469
00:59:36,004 --> 00:59:38,644
哎呀！大胡子

1470
00:59:38,644 --> 00:59:45,684
快过来呀！我我我

1471
00:59:45,764 --> 00:59:46,004
哎！我我我

1472
00:59:46,564 --> 00:59:47,444
哎呦！你别去抓黄山了

1473
00:59:47,444 --> 00:59:48,604
快过来！不抓

1474
00:59:49,044 --> 00:59:50,644
都钻到我肚脐眼里去了

1475
00:59:51,124 --> 00:59:51,524
他在上头

1476
00:59:51,844 --> 00:59:52,324
你在这守着

1477
00:59:52,724 --> 00:59:53,124
我上去

1478
00:59:53,604 --> 00:59:53,764
好

1479
00:59:59,924 --> 01:00:08,924
哎呦

1480
01:00:14,084 --> 01:00:16,564
不得了了！怎么了

1481
01:00:16,964 --> 01:00:17,444
皇上

1482
01:00:18,004 --> 01:00:22,324
皇上还在往里钻呢！你别叫了

1483
01:00:22,884 --> 01:00:23,684
万笑笑跑了

1484
01:00:23,844 --> 01:00:24,324
你负责

1485
01:00:24,644 --> 01:00:24,804
嗯

1486
01:00:25,284 --> 01:00:28,124
快上！哎！快点

1487
01:00:28,724 --> 01:00:29,604
我都快上！哎

1488
01:00:29,604 --> 01:00:31,524
万笑笑！哎呦

1489
01:00:32,164 --> 01:00:32,844
你你还敢滚头

1490
01:00:33,124 --> 01:00:35,844
哎呀！快点！万笑笑

1491
01:00:35,844 --> 01:00:36,404
你老实点

1492
01:00:36,404 --> 01:00:38,484
快下来！我

1493
01:00:38,484 --> 01:00:43,924
看我收拾你！哎！快点！看我来收拾你们！哎呀

1494
01:00:44,164 --> 01:00:44,884
怎么怎么我了

1495
01:00:45,044 --> 01:00:51,924
哎呦！哎呀！快点！别骂我呀！先上去

1496
01:00:57,284 --> 01:00:57,684
咱们跟上！快

1497
01:00:57,684 --> 01:01:01,284
快！别去！在门口守着！哎哎

1498
01:01:01,284 --> 01:01:01,924
他跑了！在那边

1499
01:01:01,924 --> 01:01:02,404
快追

1500
01:01:02,404 --> 01:01:03,364
快追！啊啊

1501
01:01:03,364 --> 01:01:03,804
快跑

1502
01:01:04,804 --> 01:01:10,244
追！站住！站住！啊！你往哪里跑

1503
01:01:10,724 --> 01:01:17,075
哎哎哎哎！

1504
01:01:17,075 --> 01:01:18,663
去！

1505
01:01:18,663 --> 01:01:21,838
站住！

1506
01:01:21,838 --> 01:01:23,426
嘿！

1507
01:01:23,426 --> 01:01:26,601
站住！

1508
01:01:26,601 --> 01:01:31,364
干什么

1509
01:01:32,244 --> 01:01:32,884
我喊警察了

1510
01:01:33,684 --> 01:01:34,484
不等警察来

1511
01:01:34,884 --> 01:01:37,084
我送你上西天！把箱子放下

1512
01:01:38,964 --> 01:01:47,684
哎哎哎！放下！放下！放下！哎！哎呀！啊！是你们

1513
01:01:48,724 --> 01:01:49,204
谢谢

1514
01:01:50,084 --> 01:01:50,804
太感谢你了

1515
01:01:50,804 --> 01:01:52,124
谢谢！好好好好

1516
01:01:52,244 --> 01:01:52,644
没关系

1517
01:01:52,644 --> 01:01:53,844
好路见不平

1518
01:01:53,924 --> 01:01:56,244
拔刀相助啊！火车快开了

1519
01:01:56,724 --> 01:01:57,644
我们还不见你来

1520
01:01:57,844 --> 01:01:58,804
就是到处找

1521
01:01:59,364 --> 01:02:00,324
这个包是你的

1522
01:02:00,324 --> 01:02:00,604
是的

1523
01:02:01,364 --> 01:02:01,524
什么

1524
01:02:02,004 --> 01:02:03,604
啊！火车开了啊！哎呀

1525
01:02:04,084 --> 01:02:05,284
我要到高宝市去演出去

1526
01:02:05,524 --> 01:02:06,844
哎，不要紧

1527
01:02:07,284 --> 01:02:09,204
你要两天以后才演出

1528
01:02:09,284 --> 01:02:09,844
赶得上的

1529
01:02:10,564 --> 01:02:11,124
万先生

1530
01:02:11,524 --> 01:02:12,124
离这不远

1531
01:02:12,324 --> 01:02:13,004
有个旅游点

1532
01:02:13,444 --> 01:02:14,924
我们何不到那儿去住一天

1533
01:02:15,284 --> 01:02:17,204
等明天再一块儿乘火车走吧

1534
01:02:17,204 --> 01:02:18,204
哎，对

1535
01:02:18,884 --> 01:02:20,404
这是个好主意啊

1536
01:02:54,884 --> 01:02:55,884
哎，侯太太

1537
01:02:56,164 --> 01:02:57,124
该亲热一下了吧

1538
01:02:58,004 --> 01:02:59,484
哎，你又忘了

1539
01:02:59,764 --> 01:03:00,684
咱们是假夫妻

1540
01:03:00,724 --> 01:03:02,004
那也不能白装一回呀

1541
01:03:02,724 --> 01:03:03,484
好了好了

1542
01:03:04,164 --> 01:03:05,724
你注意一下隔壁的万笑笑

1543
01:03:06,564 --> 01:03:07,324
我先去洗个澡

1544
01:03:07,604 --> 01:03:08,284
你放心

1545
01:03:08,564 --> 01:03:09,404
他跑不了

1546
01:03:22,724 --> 01:03:23,444
哎，雪军

1547
01:03:23,844 --> 01:03:24,404
我去看过了

1548
01:03:24,724 --> 01:03:26,004
万笑笑正在洗澡呢

1549
01:03:26,404 --> 01:03:26,884
他没走

1550
01:03:27,124 --> 01:03:27,324
哦

1551
01:03:27,604 --> 01:03:29,524
下边可就看你的了啊

1552
01:03:30,244 --> 01:03:31,324
你放心好了

1553
01:03:31,604 --> 01:03:32,244
哎呀

1554
01:03:32,324 --> 01:03:36,204
你可真美呀！请进

1555
01:03:39,284 --> 01:03:39,844
万先生

1556
01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:40,644
啊

1557
01:03:41,844 --> 01:03:43,524
侯太太

1558
01:03:43,524 --> 01:03:43,684
哈哈哈！哈

1559
01:03:45,044 --> 01:03:45,524
你怎么了

1560
01:03:46,084 --> 01:03:47,164
怎么一会儿功夫

1561
01:03:47,684 --> 01:03:51,764
你剃成光头了

1562
01:03:51,764 --> 01:03:51,964
哦啊

1563
01:03:52,404 --> 01:03:52,604
嗯

1564
01:03:54,084 --> 01:03:56,164
哈哈哈！哈坐吧

1565
01:03:56,724 --> 01:03:57,204
谢谢

1566
01:04:04,404 --> 01:04:04,884
请抽烟

1567
01:04:05,204 --> 01:04:06,124
啊，我不会

1568
01:04:06,804 --> 01:04:07,004
啊

1569
01:04:10,644 --> 01:04:10,844
啊

1570
01:04:12,084 --> 01:04:12,604
万先生

1571
01:04:13,124 --> 01:04:15,564
您看的我都不好意思了

1572
01:04:16,484 --> 01:04:19,244
呃，你的形象和气质都不错

1573
01:04:20,164 --> 01:04:20,964
不当演员可惜了

1574
01:04:21,604 --> 01:04:22,404
真的

1575
01:04:22,724 --> 01:04:23,324
太好了

1576
01:04:23,684 --> 01:04:26,284
我就是为这事儿来找您的

1577
01:04:27,124 --> 01:04:28,924
哎，我先跳舞给您看看吧

1578
01:04:28,964 --> 01:04:29,684
不必了吧

1579
01:04:31,124 --> 01:04:32,284
您要收我当徒弟

1580
01:04:32,884 --> 01:04:33,604
不考考我

1581
01:04:34,084 --> 01:04:34,644
那哪成啊

1582
01:04:48,404 --> 01:04:50,660
哎呦！

1583
01:04:50,660 --> 01:04:52,916
哎呦！

1584
01:04:52,916 --> 01:04:55,172
哎呦！

1585
01:04:55,172 --> 01:04:59,684
脚扭伤了

1586
01:04:59,764 --> 01:05:00,044
不是

1587
01:05:00,324 --> 01:05:01,724
是我的胃病又犯了

1588
01:05:02,244 --> 01:05:02,524
坐下

1589
01:05:03,604 --> 01:05:04,244
我去叫侯先生去

1590
01:05:04,644 --> 01:05:05,084
你别去

1591
01:05:06,004 --> 01:05:06,844
他出去了

1592
01:05:07,044 --> 01:05:07,444
哎呦

1593
01:05:07,924 --> 01:05:08,404
那怎么办

1594
01:05:09,204 --> 01:05:11,404
我的胃病只要一按摩就不痛

1595
01:05:11,444 --> 01:05:20,444
哎呦哎呦哎呦哎呦

1596
01:05:21,204 --> 01:05:22,044
用点劲儿嘛

1597
01:05:22,164 --> 01:05:23,444
哎呦

1598
01:05:25,444 --> 01:05:25,964
万先生

1599
01:05:26,404 --> 01:05:26,564
啊

1600
01:05:26,644 --> 01:05:28,924
你相信一见钟情吗

1601
01:05:29,364 --> 01:05:31,524
呃，这个

1602
01:05:32,484 --> 01:05:32,964
你你说什么

1603
01:05:33,364 --> 01:05:34,124
在火车上

1604
01:05:34,724 --> 01:05:35,764
你拥抱了我

1605
01:05:36,004 --> 01:05:36,924
我就爱上你了

1606
01:05:37,924 --> 01:05:38,524
侯太太

1607
01:05:39,044 --> 01:05:39,604
你别误会

1608
01:05:39,924 --> 01:05:41,204
那是火车震动

1609
01:05:41,364 --> 01:05:41,764
是啊

1610
01:05:42,004 --> 01:05:44,284
不震动怎么能产生火花啊

1611
01:05:46,084 --> 01:05:46,764
笑笑

1612
01:05:48,004 --> 01:05:49,324
男人的那种眼神

1613
01:05:50,084 --> 01:05:51,244
我太熟悉了

1614
01:05:52,164 --> 01:05:55,644
不过你的眼神是纯情的

1615
01:05:56,724 --> 01:05:57,164
侯太太

1616
01:05:57,524 --> 01:05:58,524
我不是侯太太

1617
01:05:59,204 --> 01:05:59,804
嗯，那你是

1618
01:06:00,164 --> 01:06:01,124
别叫我太太

1619
01:06:01,124 --> 01:06:01,804
太太的

1620
01:06:02,404 --> 01:06:04,684
我让你叫我雪军小姐

1621
01:06:05,684 --> 01:06:06,284
雪军小姐

1622
01:06:06,404 --> 01:06:07,604
嗯，请别介意

1623
01:06:08,164 --> 01:06:09,004
人家看见不好

1624
01:06:09,684 --> 01:06:11,484
哟，别装正经了

1625
01:06:12,164 --> 01:06:14,204
大明星有个把情人的

1626
01:06:14,644 --> 01:06:16,444
你又不是头一个

1627
01:06:17,524 --> 01:06:17,724
嗯

1628
01:06:19,364 --> 01:06:19,964
笑笑

1629
01:06:22,084 --> 01:06:22,684
笑笑

1630
01:06:23,924 --> 01:06:32,924
哼，你们这对狗男女

1631
01:06:33,684 --> 01:06:35,484
背着我干出这种事情来

1632
01:06:36,404 --> 01:06:39,044
你这个万年受刑的东西！喂

1633
01:06:39,044 --> 01:06:39,284
笑笑

1634
01:06:39,924 --> 01:06:41,324
你大白天强奸我老婆

1635
01:06:41,684 --> 01:06:42,644
走，到牌子坐垫

1636
01:06:42,884 --> 01:06:43,284
侯先生

1637
01:06:43,444 --> 01:06:43,924
你听我说

1638
01:06:44,084 --> 01:06:44,724
你误会了

1639
01:06:45,444 --> 01:06:45,724
误会

1640
01:06:46,404 --> 01:06:47,684
是我亲眼看见的

1641
01:06:47,924 --> 01:06:48,404
你赖不掉

1642
01:06:49,124 --> 01:06:50,364
总不会是他勾引你吧

1643
01:06:50,964 --> 01:06:51,044
这

1644
01:06:51,844 --> 01:06:52,204
小侯

1645
01:06:52,404 --> 01:06:52,884
算了吧

1646
01:06:53,284 --> 01:06:54,484
还是想个办法吧

1647
01:06:54,484 --> 01:06:55,044
什么办法

1648
01:06:55,844 --> 01:06:56,524
请别叫喊

1649
01:06:57,044 --> 01:06:58,724
嗯，办法总会有的

1650
01:06:59,924 --> 01:07:00,844
嗯，好吧

1651
01:07:01,604 --> 01:07:03,884
哼，事情既然到了这样

1652
01:07:04,724 --> 01:07:05,244
那你说吧

1653
01:07:06,324 --> 01:07:07,404
是公了呢

1654
01:07:07,764 --> 01:07:08,364
还是私了

1655
01:07:09,044 --> 01:07:09,644
公了怎么说

1656
01:07:09,764 --> 01:07:10,484
私了怎么说

1657
01:07:10,644 --> 01:07:11,324
公了嘛

1658
01:07:11,684 --> 01:07:12,884
你跟我到派出所去一次

1659
01:07:13,204 --> 01:07:14,644
然后我再到报社去一次

1660
01:07:15,444 --> 01:07:16,084
那么私了呢

1661
01:07:16,484 --> 01:07:17,084
私了

1662
01:07:18,644 --> 01:07:19,964
把你那只箱子给我

1663
01:07:20,404 --> 01:07:22,404
不，不不

1664
01:07:22,964 --> 01:07:23,764
箱子不能给你

1665
01:07:24,084 --> 01:07:24,444
不给

1666
01:07:25,124 --> 01:07:26,324
你想白占便宜

1667
01:07:26,484 --> 01:07:26,804
不是

1668
01:07:26,804 --> 01:07:28,484
梅梅儿

1669
01:07:28,484 --> 01:07:31,844
哎哎哎

1670
01:07:32,804 --> 01:07:33,124
小侯

1671
01:07:34,324 --> 01:07:34,644
小侯

1672
01:07:34,884 --> 01:07:35,524
把箱子给我

1673
01:07:36,404 --> 01:07:37,084
五万块奖金

1674
01:07:37,204 --> 01:07:37,684
开玩笑

1675
01:07:38,004 --> 01:07:38,324
你怎么

1676
01:07:38,644 --> 01:07:39,444
你想独吞呢

1677
01:07:39,844 --> 01:07:40,764
别怪我不客气

1678
01:07:41,044 --> 01:07:41,804
不客气怎么样

1679
01:07:42,004 --> 01:07:43,044
箱子在我手里

1680
01:07:43,044 --> 01:07:43,444
你给不给我

1681
01:07:43,764 --> 01:07:44,244
滚来

1682
01:07:44,324 --> 01:07:44,404
给我

1683
01:07:45,044 --> 01:07:45,444
你给不给

1684
01:07:45,444 --> 01:07:46,724
走开！你这个臭女人

1685
01:07:46,724 --> 01:07:51,444
啊啊！嘿

1686
01:07:53,204 --> 01:07:53,364
哼

1687
01:07:56,964 --> 01:07:57,924
抓住！哎

1688
01:07:58,564 --> 01:07:58,884
雪军

1689
01:07:58,884 --> 01:08:00,724
哎，谢谢你帮我夺回箱子

1690
01:08:02,004 --> 01:08:02,924
哎哎

1691
01:08:03,284 --> 01:08:06,164
你不该把他打死啊！他只是晕过去了

1692
01:08:06,644 --> 01:08:07,204
不要紧的

1693
01:08:08,804 --> 01:08:12,684
啊，坏了！来人了！哎

1694
01:08:13,284 --> 01:08:14,324
这……哎

1695
01:08:14,404 --> 01:08:15,764
这个……给他抬到沙发上去

1696
01:08:15,764 --> 01:08:23,804
好，快点！请进

1697
01:08:25,524 --> 01:08:25,804
你好

1698
01:08:29,284 --> 01:08:29,444
哎

1699
01:08:32,164 --> 01:08:33,044
这位先生怎么了

1700
01:08:33,444 --> 01:08:34,404
像是昏过去了

1701
01:08:34,404 --> 01:08:35,524
没事

1702
01:08:35,524 --> 01:08:37,164
啊，他是在装死

1703
01:08:37,684 --> 01:08:38,684
我们在排练小品

1704
01:08:39,364 --> 01:08:40,124
排什么小品

1705
01:08:40,884 --> 01:08:41,764
一个幽默小品

1706
01:08:42,084 --> 01:08:42,924
活人和死人

1707
01:08:43,684 --> 01:08:44,964
我那搭档他演死人

1708
01:08:45,524 --> 01:08:47,124
哎哎！你瞧

1709
01:08:47,604 --> 01:08:48,244
他演的多棒

1710
01:08:48,324 --> 01:08:49,124
像真死一样

1711
01:08:49,284 --> 01:08:49,844
其实还有气儿

1712
01:08:50,404 --> 01:08:50,684
不错

1713
01:08:51,124 --> 01:08:51,724
明明有气

1714
01:08:52,164 --> 01:08:52,884
真会装死

1715
01:08:53,844 --> 01:08:54,884
我能看你们排戏吗

1716
01:08:55,044 --> 01:08:55,524
那不行了

1717
01:08:56,084 --> 01:08:57,204
演出以前是保密的

1718
01:08:57,444 --> 01:08:57,604
请

1719
01:08:58,004 --> 01:08:59,284
那只能等你们演出了

1720
01:08:59,444 --> 01:09:00,604
啊！好啊

1721
01:09:00,644 --> 01:09:01,164
雪军

1722
01:09:01,364 --> 01:09:01,844
你喊什么喊

1723
01:09:02,004 --> 01:09:03,964
小，几万块钱！你上都吞

1724
01:09:04,004 --> 01:09:05,084
你！我练了

1725
01:09:06,324 --> 01:09:06,844
为了报仇

1726
01:09:07,284 --> 01:09:07,844
闹情绪呢

1727
01:09:08,244 --> 01:09:08,444
对

1728
01:09:08,804 --> 01:09:08,964
行

1729
01:09:10,804 --> 01:09:11,724
你们演的真像

1730
01:09:15,124 --> 01:09:15,444
坏了

1731
01:09:15,844 --> 01:09:17,204
快没气了！我喊医生去

1732
01:09:18,004 --> 01:09:18,724
回来

1733
01:09:18,724 --> 01:09:19,324
啊！你疯了

1734
01:09:19,604 --> 01:09:20,284
去倒杯水来

1735
01:09:20,724 --> 01:09:20,924
好

1736
01:09:25,844 --> 01:09:27,084
我给他吃点药就好了

1737
01:09:27,204 --> 01:09:28,964
啊！你随身还带着药

1738
01:09:29,284 --> 01:09:30,644
本来是给你准备的

1739
01:09:30,724 --> 01:09:31,364
啊

1740
01:09:31,924 --> 01:09:32,324
什么药

1741
01:09:32,804 --> 01:09:33,884
长效安眠药

1742
01:09:34,324 --> 01:09:34,964
吃上两片

1743
01:09:35,364 --> 01:09:36,684
能睡他两天两夜的

1744
01:09:37,844 --> 01:09:38,484
你们是什么人

1745
01:09:39,684 --> 01:09:41,204
他们在排的那个小品啊

1746
01:09:41,204 --> 01:09:42,164
可有意思了

1747
01:09:42,964 --> 01:09:44,004
逗得我只想笑

1748
01:09:46,244 --> 01:09:46,684
其实

1749
01:09:47,444 --> 01:09:48,604
我心里也很苦

1750
01:09:50,644 --> 01:09:53,084
我需要一大笔钱办出国手续

1751
01:09:55,364 --> 01:09:56,204
于是老板娘

1752
01:09:57,204 --> 01:09:59,404
就让我和小侯冒充假夫妻

1753
01:10:00,724 --> 01:10:02,604
来劫持你的密码箱

1754
01:10:04,164 --> 01:10:04,684
他还说

1755
01:10:05,444 --> 01:10:07,484
必要时可以把你杀了

1756
01:10:07,924 --> 01:10:08,124
嗯

1757
01:10:09,204 --> 01:10:09,564
我一听

1758
01:10:10,164 --> 01:10:11,084
头皮直发麻

1759
01:10:13,844 --> 01:10:15,284
我和你无冤无仇的

1760
01:10:15,844 --> 01:10:16,924
我干嘛要杀你呀

1761
01:10:18,644 --> 01:10:19,484
再说了

1762
01:10:20,404 --> 01:10:23,244
我一看到你就爱上你了

1763
01:10:23,924 --> 01:10:24,284
雪军

1764
01:10:24,804 --> 01:10:25,324
谢谢你

1765
01:10:27,124 --> 01:10:27,564
笑笑

1766
01:10:28,084 --> 01:10:29,004
拿上这只密码箱

1767
01:10:29,364 --> 01:10:30,444
咱们远走高飞吧

1768
01:10:33,124 --> 01:10:33,644
我知道

1769
01:10:35,284 --> 01:10:36,604
你是喜欢我的

1770
01:10:37,124 --> 01:10:37,444
是的

1771
01:10:38,644 --> 01:10:39,644
那咱们一块儿走吧

1772
01:10:40,964 --> 01:10:41,324
好吧

1773
01:10:41,924 --> 01:10:42,524
我们就走

1774
01:10:42,884 --> 01:10:45,364
哎，雪军

1775
01:10:45,764 --> 01:10:47,684
嗯，你赶快回房间收拾收拾

1776
01:10:48,084 --> 01:10:48,604
我等你啊

1777
01:10:48,884 --> 01:10:49,044
嗯

1778
01:10:49,524 --> 01:10:50,724
哎，把他弄到你房间去

1779
01:10:50,964 --> 01:10:51,124
嗯

1780
01:10:56,004 --> 01:10:56,804
快点啊！哎

1781
01:10:56,964 --> 01:11:00,804
我知道了

1782
01:11:32,244 --> 01:11:32,484
别动

1783
01:11:33,444 --> 01:11:39,044
举起手来！严律

1784
01:11:39,364 --> 01:11:39,884
是你

1785
01:11:40,564 --> 01:11:41,444
你怎么到这来了

1786
01:11:41,444 --> 01:11:43,044
我要是告诉你我跟了你一路

1787
01:11:43,204 --> 01:11:44,284
你一定会更吃惊吧

1788
01:11:45,044 --> 01:11:45,684
你一直跟着我

1789
01:11:46,324 --> 01:11:46,644
为什么

1790
01:11:47,204 --> 01:11:49,684
我要看看你这一路上到底会缠上几个女人

1791
01:11:54,804 --> 01:11:57,204
那么刚才在你房里那个女人是怎么回事啊

1792
01:11:58,324 --> 01:11:59,004
说来话长

1793
01:11:59,924 --> 01:12:00,404
其实啊

1794
01:12:00,724 --> 01:12:01,684
你不老实也不行啊

1795
01:12:01,844 --> 01:12:02,884
她丈夫就在她身边

1796
01:12:02,964 --> 01:12:03,284
对不对

1797
01:12:09,684 --> 01:12:09,924
笑笑

1798
01:12:10,244 --> 01:12:11,924
这箱子里到底装的是什么

1799
01:12:12,884 --> 01:12:13,324
一万块钱

1800
01:12:14,324 --> 01:12:16,004
不会搞错吧

1801
01:12:16,004 --> 01:12:18,244
哎，剧场经理亲手交给我的

1802
01:12:18,644 --> 01:12:19,044
那会错

1803
01:12:19,764 --> 01:12:20,604
为了一万元钱

1804
01:12:20,884 --> 01:12:21,844
他们那么大动干戈

1805
01:12:22,644 --> 01:12:22,964
哎，笑笑

1806
01:12:23,524 --> 01:12:25,204
让我来看看

1807
01:12:25,204 --> 01:12:26,044
哎，不能看

1808
01:12:26,484 --> 01:12:26,804
为什么

1809
01:12:27,204 --> 01:12:28,604
我开了两次都打不开

1810
01:12:29,684 --> 01:12:30,964
这密码是不是记错了

1811
01:12:31,844 --> 01:12:32,444
密码没错

1812
01:12:32,644 --> 01:12:33,284
就是打不开

1813
01:12:34,804 --> 01:12:36,324
也许是国产货不过关吧

1814
01:12:37,124 --> 01:12:39,044
密码程序全乱套了

1815
01:12:39,044 --> 01:12:40,804
我看事情有些不对头啊

1816
01:12:41,604 --> 01:12:41,924
是啊

1817
01:12:42,804 --> 01:12:45,044
对我的箱子感兴趣的不止两个人呢

1818
01:12:45,044 --> 01:12:46,644
啊，还有些什么人

1819
01:12:46,644 --> 01:12:47,444
呃，不谈了吧

1820
01:12:47,604 --> 01:12:48,644
事情已经过去了

1821
01:12:48,644 --> 01:12:48,964
不说了

1822
01:12:49,844 --> 01:12:50,804
免得你担心受怕

1823
01:12:51,284 --> 01:12:52,004
哎，笑笑

1824
01:12:52,244 --> 01:12:53,044
来，跟我走

1825
01:12:53,364 --> 01:12:54,284
咱们马上回家

1826
01:12:54,804 --> 01:12:55,044
哎呀

1827
01:12:55,044 --> 01:12:55,364
不行

1828
01:12:55,764 --> 01:12:56,484
我已经订了合同

1829
01:12:56,564 --> 01:12:57,284
一定要去演出

1830
01:12:57,444 --> 01:12:58,324
要不小报上一登

1831
01:12:59,044 --> 01:13:00,124
我的财路就断了

1832
01:13:00,644 --> 01:13:02,164
你到底是要钱还是要命吗

1833
01:13:03,924 --> 01:13:04,324
钱也要

1834
01:13:04,564 --> 01:13:04,964
命也要

1835
01:13:06,324 --> 01:13:07,164
嫁给你真倒霉

1836
01:13:08,404 --> 01:13:08,804
笑笑

1837
01:13:10,644 --> 01:13:12,604
你就这么狠心把我抛下

1838
01:13:13,044 --> 01:13:13,364
是什么

1839
01:13:13,444 --> 01:13:14,604
如果我没看错的话

1840
01:13:14,804 --> 01:13:16,724
她就是刚才那个在你房间里的女人

1841
01:13:16,964 --> 01:13:17,284
没错

1842
01:13:17,764 --> 01:13:18,604
我叫雪军

1843
01:13:19,124 --> 01:13:21,044
笑笑的情人

1844
01:13:21,204 --> 01:13:21,444
什么

1845
01:13:22,404 --> 01:13:25,044
你雪军凭什么胡说

1846
01:13:25,684 --> 01:13:26,084
凭什么

1847
01:13:26,964 --> 01:13:28,284
凭你拥抱过我

1848
01:13:28,564 --> 01:13:29,284
亲吻过我

1849
01:13:30,004 --> 01:13:32,724
你还答应和我一起私奔

1850
01:13:32,724 --> 01:13:34,084
哎，这是真的

1851
01:13:34,244 --> 01:13:34,644
你问他

1852
01:13:35,044 --> 01:13:36,004
我，你说呀

1853
01:13:36,004 --> 01:13:36,524
啊！哎

1854
01:13:36,564 --> 01:13:37,044
你说呀

1855
01:13:37,284 --> 01:13:37,844
你啊

1856
01:13:37,924 --> 01:13:38,844
叫我笑笑

1857
01:13:39,044 --> 01:13:39,604
哎，跟我走

1858
01:13:39,604 --> 01:13:44,244
哎，走啊！你跟我走啊！哎

1859
01:13:44,884 --> 01:13:45,644
凭什么跟你走

1860
01:13:46,404 --> 01:13:48,324
哎，你叶绿

1861
01:13:49,044 --> 01:13:49,204
叶绿

1862
01:13:50,244 --> 01:13:51,204
你不要听他胡说

1863
01:13:51,364 --> 01:13:52,164
你该相信我

1864
01:13:52,244 --> 01:13:54,724
你别碰我！我我向你保证过

1865
01:13:54,724 --> 01:13:55,444
你该相信我

1866
01:13:55,444 --> 01:13:56,604
吴太太

1867
01:13:56,964 --> 01:13:59,004
这是他送我的定情照

1868
01:13:59,524 --> 01:14:02,964
啊！你你你还送他照片

1869
01:14:03,764 --> 01:14:05,444
这照片哪来的

1870
01:14:05,524 --> 01:14:05,764
哎呦

1871
01:14:05,764 --> 01:14:10,884
冤枉！我真是冤枉啊！照片的后面还有题字呢

1872
01:14:10,884 --> 01:14:10,964
嗯

1873
01:14:13,364 --> 01:14:14,124
笑笑

1874
01:14:14,644 --> 01:14:14,964
正文

1875
01:14:16,084 --> 01:14:16,484
你还念

1876
01:14:18,164 --> 01:14:19,604
我、我这不是我写的

1877
01:14:20,484 --> 01:14:21,084
万太太

1878
01:14:21,444 --> 01:14:24,204
这下你该明白了吧

1879
01:14:24,484 --> 01:14:25,764
你这个……好啊

1880
01:14:26,244 --> 01:14:27,684
万笑笑

1881
01:14:27,684 --> 01:14:30,484
我算是看透你了

1882
01:14:30,484 --> 01:14:32,084
叶绿

1883
01:14:32,244 --> 01:14:34,804
别走！你别碰我！哎

1884
01:14:35,044 --> 01:14:36,644
你别走啊！我给你

1885
01:14:37,684 --> 01:14:38,004
你别拉我

1886
01:14:38,004 --> 01:14:38,164
让我走

1887
01:14:38,164 --> 01:14:38,484
你跟我走了不是

1888
01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:41,924
哎呀！笑笑

1889
01:14:42,164 --> 01:14:42,844
摔疼了吗

1890
01:14:43,444 --> 01:14:45,084
别碰我！笑笑

1891
01:14:45,684 --> 01:14:46,444
笑笑

1892
01:14:47,124 --> 01:14:48,004
叫的多好听呢

1893
01:14:48,404 --> 01:14:49,684
你的心比毒蛇还毒

1894
01:14:50,484 --> 01:14:50,964
笑笑

1895
01:14:50,964 --> 01:14:51,524
你对不起

1896
01:14:52,004 --> 01:14:53,644
请连名带姓一起叫好不好

1897
01:14:57,364 --> 01:14:59,404
嗯，万笑笑同志

1898
01:14:59,990 --> 01:15:00,710
对不起了

1899
01:15:01,590 --> 01:15:04,150
照片后面的字是我写上去的

1900
01:15:04,950 --> 01:15:05,190
什么

1901
01:15:05,990 --> 01:15:06,790
你照片是哪来的

1902
01:15:08,310 --> 01:15:09,270
老板娘给的

1903
01:15:09,990 --> 01:15:12,070
让我对着照片抓人呢

1904
01:15:13,190 --> 01:15:14,390
碰到你倒了霉了

1905
01:15:14,390 --> 01:15:15,150
哎，你

1906
01:15:16,070 --> 01:15:16,270
你

1907
01:15:17,670 --> 01:15:19,590
去！你别这么说呀

1908
01:15:19,990 --> 01:15:20,830
如果没有我

1909
01:15:21,190 --> 01:15:23,830
小侯早把你嗯杀了

1910
01:15:24,710 --> 01:15:25,670
哎，笑笑

1911
01:15:26,150 --> 01:15:26,790
你到哪去啊

1912
01:15:26,870 --> 01:15:27,270
笑笑

1913
01:15:27,510 --> 01:15:28,070
干嘛干嘛

1914
01:15:28,710 --> 01:15:30,470
你答应过我和我带着箱子走的

1915
01:15:30,710 --> 01:15:31,310
带你走

1916
01:15:31,590 --> 01:15:33,190
笑话！我是什么人

1917
01:15:33,350 --> 01:15:34,110
我是大明星

1918
01:15:34,470 --> 01:15:36,550
像你这样的女人我见的多了

1919
01:15:38,150 --> 01:15:41,990
我就叫你这么讨厌呐！讨厌就是讨厌

1920
01:15:43,270 --> 01:15:45,230
这个你总不讨厌吧

1921
01:15:49,190 --> 01:15:50,710
嗯嗯

1922
01:15:50,710 --> 01:15:50,910
嗯

1923
01:15:57,350 --> 01:15:58,070
你不是不抽的吗

1924
01:15:58,310 --> 01:16:00,190
这是特为你准备的

1925
01:16:00,630 --> 01:16:01,510
为我

1926
01:16:04,950 --> 01:16:08,310
来不及了

1927
01:16:08,470 --> 01:16:10,110
一、二三

1928
01:16:10,790 --> 01:16:10,990
倒

1929
01:16:13,350 --> 01:16:16,670
哼，小丑艺术家

1930
01:16:17,270 --> 01:16:18,350
我的大明星

1931
01:16:19,750 --> 01:16:20,190
拜拜

1932
01:16:21,830 --> 01:16:21,910
哼

1933
01:16:42,790 --> 01:16:43,750
呃呃呃

1934
01:16:43,990 --> 01:16:44,150
嗯

1935
01:16:44,390 --> 01:16:45,910
哎，我的箱子呢

1936
01:16:46,870 --> 01:16:47,350
我的箱子

1937
01:16:55,990 --> 01:16:57,510
看到和我一起排小品的小姐了吗

1938
01:16:58,230 --> 01:16:59,430
她已经离开宾馆了

1939
01:16:59,750 --> 01:17:00,310
什么时候走的

1940
01:17:01,110 --> 01:17:01,950
轮渡刚开走

1941
01:17:02,630 --> 01:17:02,950
糟糕

1942
01:17:03,590 --> 01:17:03,790
嗯

1943
01:17:21,910 --> 01:17:22,470
叶绿啊

1944
01:17:22,470 --> 01:17:22,990
谢谢啊

1945
01:17:23,270 --> 01:17:23,430
叶绿

1946
01:17:23,590 --> 01:17:27,270
来，看见雪军没有

1947
01:17:27,270 --> 01:17:29,270
哼，他不是跟你一起私奔了吗

1948
01:17:30,150 --> 01:17:31,350
他把我的箱子偷走了

1949
01:17:32,230 --> 01:17:32,430
啊

1950
01:17:33,350 --> 01:17:34,230
真的

1951
01:17:34,230 --> 01:17:34,310
啊

1952
01:17:35,590 --> 01:17:36,870
走，找他算账去

1953
01:17:47,990 --> 01:17:48,230
同志

1954
01:17:48,710 --> 01:17:48,870
啊

1955
01:17:49,830 --> 01:17:50,310
什么事儿

1956
01:17:50,390 --> 01:17:51,270
请出示你的身份证

1957
01:17:51,510 --> 01:17:52,270
嗯，好吧

1958
01:17:59,030 --> 01:17:59,270
叶绿

1959
01:17:59,830 --> 01:18:01,430
现在你知道雪军是什么样的人了吧

1960
01:18:01,830 --> 01:18:02,950
擦银专盯臭鸡蛋

1961
01:18:03,270 --> 01:18:05,510
反正你是一见漂亮姑娘就眼花

1962
01:18:05,990 --> 01:18:07,270
这辈子你是改不了了

1963
01:18:08,390 --> 01:18:09,670
呀，我的箱子

1964
01:18:09,990 --> 01:18:10,710
箱子没了

1965
01:18:11,590 --> 01:18:12,230
一个密码箱

1966
01:18:12,870 --> 01:18:15,030
啊，跟我到派出所去谈谈情况

1967
01:18:15,270 --> 01:18:16,350
啊，嗯

1968
01:18:17,190 --> 01:18:17,670
好吧

1969
01:18:26,790 --> 01:18:34,830
旅客们

1970
01:18:40,870 --> 01:18:42,070
高宝车站到了

1971
01:18:42,710 --> 01:18:43,910
下车的旅客

1972
01:18:44,070 --> 01:18:45,830
请收拾好自己的行李

1973
01:18:46,390 --> 01:18:47,350
准备下车了

1974
01:18:48,950 --> 01:18:49,350
旅客们

1975
01:18:49,990 --> 01:18:51,150
高宝车站到了

1976
01:18:51,830 --> 01:18:53,590
下车的旅客

1977
01:18:53,670 --> 01:18:54,950
请收拾好自己的行李

1978
01:18:55,030 --> 01:18:55,430
你快看

1979
01:18:55,510 --> 01:18:55,910
怎么回事

1980
01:18:56,150 --> 01:18:56,470
你惊了

1981
01:18:56,550 --> 01:18:57,870
箱子回来了

1982
01:18:59,590 --> 01:19:06,550
啊！会不会搞错

1983
01:19:07,350 --> 01:19:07,590
没错

1984
01:19:08,230 --> 01:19:10,030
这上面有我用刀子敲过的痕迹

1985
01:19:16,710 --> 01:19:18,710
我看这箱子是个不祥之物

1986
01:19:18,870 --> 01:19:19,590
咱们不能要了

1987
01:19:20,230 --> 01:19:22,790
那怎么办

1988
01:19:22,790 --> 01:19:23,470
到了高宝市

1989
01:19:23,670 --> 01:19:24,750
把箱子交给公安局

1990
01:19:24,870 --> 01:19:25,670
然后再去演出

1991
01:19:27,750 --> 01:19:28,150
好吧

1992
01:19:29,670 --> 01:19:34,120
来嘛！

1993
01:19:34,120 --> 01:19:43,120
上我们的路吧

1994
01:19:47,590 --> 01:19:48,710
你们旅馆条件怎么样

1995
01:19:48,710 --> 01:19:49,870
很好啊！哎呀

1996
01:19:49,990 --> 01:19:50,390
万老师

1997
01:19:50,470 --> 01:19:51,990
可把我们等的急死了！快走吧

1998
01:19:52,070 --> 01:19:52,390
快走吧

1999
01:19:52,710 --> 01:19:53,230
再等多时难

2000
01:19:55,430 --> 01:19:56,790
走走走走走

2001
01:19:56,870 --> 01:19:57,030
咱们走

2002
01:19:57,030 --> 01:19:57,110
等等

2003
01:19:57,270 --> 01:19:58,070
哎，我们先去演出

2004
01:19:58,310 --> 01:19:58,630
您爱人

2005
01:19:58,630 --> 01:19:59,270
我们等等去见

2006
01:19:59,510 --> 01:20:01,590
快走吧

2007
01:20:01,590 --> 01:20:06,990
走！快

2008
01:20:07,350 --> 01:20:08,950
追！不早了

2009
01:20:09,350 --> 01:20:09,510
笑笑

2010
01:20:10,550 --> 01:20:13,350
笑笑

2011
01:20:13,350 --> 01:20:21,630
快，上马！关局

2012
01:20:21,910 --> 01:20:22,470
好，上去吧

2013
01:20:22,550 --> 01:20:22,950
哎，谢谢

2014
01:20:28,390 --> 01:20:28,950
哎，快一点

2015
01:20:29,830 --> 01:20:31,270
你们抓紧一点啊！老沈

2016
01:20:31,510 --> 01:20:32,070
万老师来了

2017
01:20:32,630 --> 01:20:32,950
哦，哎

2018
01:20:33,030 --> 01:20:33,910
哈哈哈！万先生

2019
01:20:34,070 --> 01:20:34,710
你可来了

2020
01:20:34,710 --> 01:20:35,590
万先生遵守合同的啊

2021
01:20:35,750 --> 01:20:36,350
哎，笑笑

2022
01:20:36,710 --> 01:20:37,270
好，万老师

2023
01:20:37,590 --> 01:20:38,470
我去接你爱人去

2024
01:20:38,870 --> 01:20:39,110
好的

2025
01:20:41,910 --> 01:20:42,310
朱老板

2026
01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:42,950
他来了

2027
01:20:44,550 --> 01:20:47,030
嗯，这不像是关局吗

2028
01:20:47,430 --> 01:20:51,070
哎哎哎！这是公安局的秘密办公室

2029
01:20:52,710 --> 01:20:53,310
万太太

2030
01:20:54,790 --> 01:20:57,550
你的案子要在这里了结

2031
01:20:59,750 --> 01:21:02,963
哎哎哎！

2032
01:21:02,963 --> 01:21:06,177
放我走！

2033
01:21:06,177 --> 01:21:09,390
万太太

2034
01:21:09,830 --> 01:21:11,030
放聪明点儿

2035
01:21:13,670 --> 01:21:15,790
待会儿等万先生来了

2036
01:21:17,350 --> 01:21:21,030
你们夫妻俩再团圆也来得及嘛

2037
01:21:25,510 --> 01:21:27,590
哎，你们干什么的

2038
01:21:27,590 --> 01:21:27,950
呃，我们

2039
01:21:28,950 --> 01:21:29,670
呃，这个

2040
01:21:29,670 --> 01:21:31,230
呃，这是后台

2041
01:21:31,670 --> 01:21:32,910
外人不能进来啊

2042
01:21:33,110 --> 01:21:34,110
呃，我们是演员

2043
01:21:34,470 --> 01:21:34,630
对对

2044
01:21:34,630 --> 01:21:35,990
他是万笑笑的搭档啊

2045
01:21:35,990 --> 01:21:36,550
我是搭档

2046
01:21:36,870 --> 01:21:37,070
好

2047
01:21:38,790 --> 01:21:38,950
嗯

2048
01:21:45,510 --> 01:21:46,150
哎，万先生

2049
01:21:46,310 --> 01:21:46,950
你怎么回来了

2050
01:21:47,270 --> 01:21:48,390
呃，你们有枪没有

2051
01:21:48,790 --> 01:21:48,990
枪

2052
01:21:49,430 --> 01:21:49,990
要枪干什么

2053
01:21:50,390 --> 01:21:51,070
我演个小品

2054
01:21:51,270 --> 01:21:52,190
呃，需要一把枪

2055
01:21:52,470 --> 01:21:54,110
呃，有道具用的步枪

2056
01:21:54,470 --> 01:21:54,630
啊

2057
01:21:54,630 --> 01:21:56,070
不够搞效果的命来呀！哎呀

2058
01:21:56,070 --> 01:21:56,670
赶快找来吧

2059
01:21:57,030 --> 01:21:57,430
好好好

2060
01:21:59,910 --> 01:22:08,910
今天

2061
01:22:21,430 --> 01:22:22,710
我不打算给你们演节目了

2062
01:22:24,230 --> 01:22:25,110
我想跟你们说说

2063
01:22:25,830 --> 01:22:26,710
这只神秘的箱子

2064
01:22:27,670 --> 01:22:29,030
夕阳没事了

2065
01:22:29,030 --> 01:22:29,670
有好多坏人

2066
01:22:30,550 --> 01:22:31,510
都想抢这只箱子

2067
01:22:32,230 --> 01:22:32,710
上台枪

2068
01:22:33,510 --> 01:22:38,310
不然的话他会把我们的老底兜出去的

2069
01:22:38,310 --> 01:22:39,510
啊！观众们

2070
01:22:39,830 --> 01:22:40,870
就是这两个蛋

2071
01:22:40,870 --> 01:22:41,830
他们想抢我的箱子

2072
01:22:43,430 --> 01:22:43,670
想杀死我

2073
01:22:43,670 --> 01:22:46,150
上，别动！要不我开枪了

2074
01:22:47,110 --> 01:22:49,270
哎，那枪是演戏的道具

2075
01:22:49,510 --> 01:22:49,830
假的

2076
01:22:49,990 --> 01:22:51,750
哎，上次你也说是假的

2077
01:22:51,830 --> 01:22:52,310
怎么响了

2078
01:22:52,550 --> 01:22:53,670
你在前面

2079
01:22:53,910 --> 01:22:54,630
我真的开枪了

2080
01:22:54,950 --> 01:22:55,270
王潇潇

2081
01:22:55,510 --> 01:22:55,670
你

2082
01:22:55,670 --> 01:22:59,590
说这个假的

2083
01:22:59,750 --> 01:23:01,590
想问你

2084
01:23:04,230 --> 01:23:06,630
哎！我去

2085
01:23:06,630 --> 01:23:06,950
万笑笑

2086
01:23:07,190 --> 01:23:12,350
你给我站住！还站住！那个枪不响

2087
01:23:12,390 --> 01:23:18,390
哎呦！

2088
01:23:18,390 --> 01:23:24,390
哎呦

2089
01:23:29,670 --> 01:23:29,830
哎呦

2090
01:23:59,910 --> 01:24:04,344
在上面！

2091
01:24:04,344 --> 01:24:07,300
快点！

2092
01:24:07,300 --> 01:24:08,777
嘿！

2093
01:24:08,777 --> 01:24:13,211
哎哎哎！

2094
01:24:13,211 --> 01:24:19,123
哎哎哎哎！

2095
01:24:19,123 --> 01:24:22,079
还有！

2096
01:24:22,079 --> 01:24:25,034
哎呀！

2097
01:24:25,034 --> 01:24:26,512
哎！

2098
01:24:26,512 --> 01:24:30,946
哎哎哎！

2099
01:24:30,946 --> 01:24:35,380
快下来！

2100
01:24:35,380 --> 01:24:39,813
往下下！

2101
01:24:39,813 --> 01:24:44,247
哎哎哎！

2102
01:24:44,247 --> 01:24:48,681
往下下！

2103
01:24:48,681 --> 01:24:53,114
哎哎哎！

2104
01:24:53,114 --> 01:24:56,070
哎哎！

2105
01:24:56,070 --> 01:24:57,548
啊！

2106
01:24:57,548 --> 01:25:00,504
哎呀！

2107
01:25:00,504 --> 01:25:01,982
啊！

2108
01:25:01,982 --> 01:25:04,937
哎呀！

2109
01:25:04,937 --> 01:25:07,893
快点！

2110
01:25:07,893 --> 01:25:12,327
继续往！

2111
01:25:12,327 --> 01:25:18,239
哎哎哎哎！

2112
01:25:18,239 --> 01:25:21,194
去你！

2113
01:25:21,194 --> 01:25:24,150
先生

2114
01:25:24,150 --> 01:25:24,230
来啦！万先生

2115
01:25:24,230 --> 01:25:24,390
来啦！哈哈

2116
01:25:25,110 --> 01:25:26,270
您就是万笑笑先生吧

2117
01:25:26,550 --> 01:25:26,870
干什么

2118
01:25:27,590 --> 01:25:29,390
我想告诉你关于你爱人的消息

2119
01:25:29,830 --> 01:25:30,310
他怎么了

2120
01:25:30,950 --> 01:25:32,350
我请你听一段录音

2121
01:25:32,950 --> 01:25:33,310
录音

2122
01:25:33,670 --> 01:25:34,310
什么录音

2123
01:25:34,310 --> 01:25:34,630
行吧

2124
01:25:35,030 --> 01:25:35,350
到车上来

2125
01:25:36,070 --> 01:25:36,550
你们马上走

2126
01:25:36,550 --> 01:25:37,350
我走

2127
01:25:37,350 --> 01:25:37,750
万太太

2128
01:25:37,910 --> 01:25:38,790
放聪明点儿

2129
01:25:39,190 --> 01:25:41,150
待会儿等万先生来了

2130
01:25:41,510 --> 01:25:44,710
你们夫妻俩再团圆也来得及吗

2131
01:25:46,710 --> 01:25:47,070
怎么样

2132
01:25:47,750 --> 01:25:48,510
听清楚了吧

2133
01:25:49,270 --> 01:25:50,190
你们不能伤害他

2134
01:25:50,870 --> 01:25:52,470
这就要看你万先生的了

2135
01:25:53,030 --> 01:25:54,150
只要你们不伤害我妻子

2136
01:25:54,950 --> 01:25:55,470
我跟你们去

2137
01:25:55,750 --> 01:25:55,950
行

2138
01:25:56,950 --> 01:25:57,190
开车

2139
01:26:00,390 --> 01:26:00,870
我是灵儿

2140
01:26:01,190 --> 01:26:01,910
他们已经出动了

2141
01:26:02,310 --> 01:26:02,990
请注意了

2142
01:26:03,350 --> 01:26:05,910
你看这件事

2143
01:26:12,870 --> 01:26:13,470
万太太

2144
01:26:14,870 --> 01:26:17,470
这件事情本不应该发生啊

2145
01:26:19,270 --> 01:26:21,110
万先生错拿了我的箱子

2146
01:26:21,510 --> 01:26:22,510
又不肯交出来

2147
01:26:23,510 --> 01:26:25,710
我是不得已而为之啊

2148
01:26:30,150 --> 01:26:30,470
刘老板

2149
01:26:30,470 --> 01:26:31,270
人货两清

2150
01:26:32,390 --> 01:26:32,630
叶绿

2151
01:26:33,830 --> 01:26:35,190
哎，你们放开我

2152
01:26:35,510 --> 01:26:36,790
放开我

2153
01:26:36,790 --> 01:26:38,510
你们把我放开！没事

2154
01:26:40,230 --> 01:26:40,310
你们

2155
01:26:40,310 --> 01:26:40,950
你们这些强盗

2156
01:26:42,390 --> 01:26:42,990
把他放了

2157
01:26:44,870 --> 01:26:47,110
放了他

2158
01:26:47,110 --> 01:26:48,630
哼，叶绿

2159
01:26:49,110 --> 01:26:49,430
万先生

2160
01:26:50,630 --> 01:26:55,110
请把箱子还给我

2161
01:27:01,510 --> 01:27:03,150
哎呀！笑笑

2162
01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:04,710
你不再把箱子交给他

2163
01:27:04,950 --> 01:27:12,150
我怕他们伤害你

2164
01:27:12,870 --> 01:27:14,030
爆炸装置怎么没有了

2165
01:27:16,390 --> 01:27:17,190
箱子谁动过了

2166
01:27:17,670 --> 01:27:17,990
你说

2167
01:27:18,390 --> 01:27:19,590
呃，朱老板

2168
01:27:20,710 --> 01:27:21,630
箱子我动过了

2169
01:27:23,670 --> 01:27:25,270
别动！笑笑

2170
01:27:26,310 --> 01:27:28,470
别动！朱老板

2171
01:27:29,110 --> 01:27:31,990
走！叶恋

2172
01:27:31,990 --> 01:27:38,670
哎呦！

2173
01:27:38,670 --> 01:27:45,350
哎呦！

2174
01:27:45,350 --> 01:27:48,690
哦！

2175
01:27:48,690 --> 01:27:52,030
哦！

2176
01:27:52,030 --> 01:27:55,370
哦！

2177
01:27:55,370 --> 01:27:58,710
哎

2178
01:27:58,710 --> 01:28:04,950
这这这轻点！哎呦！我痛痛痛痛死了！哎呦！痛死了！哎呦！哎呦！干嘛呢

2179
01:28:04,950 --> 01:28:06,590
快拿掉！你上哪去啊

2180
01:28:07,270 --> 01:28:08,150
我去一眼

2181
01:28:09,910 --> 01:28:10,190
你啊

2182
01:28:10,230 --> 01:28:10,910
该去上税

2183
01:28:11,590 --> 01:28:12,270
我知道

2184
01:28:12,790 --> 01:28:15,270
哎呦！对

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